Home Sweet Home!

Pictures forthcoming, but just a quick word to everyone that we made it home safely. It was a very pleasant trip without any incident... Wilbert always makes it so easy to travel... he's so helpful and laid back - a good balance to my hyper-alertness and tendency to get stressed out. Probably one of the best/easiest/most complicated trips we've ever done, what with long transfer times/distances and train travel in addition to air travel. Thanks, honey!

Also thanks to the many people we spent time with! Especially enjoyable to see were Mike & Joel, Key & Perry, Joel & Joanna, Fritz & Lou, Ashley & Stephan, Mel, Heidi, Merrick & Cristian, and Mom & Dad. Also Ellen, Oliver and Glen and friends! Thanks, guys! It was a fun trip thanks to you!

More to come, but first I've got about 5 hours of sleep to catch up on! A belated Merry Christmas to all!

Family Christmas in Boston

This week I finally got to meet my little nephew, born last May. He's a gorgeous little man, fairly even-tempered, and loves to smile at us a lot. Nice to finally meet you, Cristian!

Christmas with the family in Boston has had its usual fireworks, especially with my brother. My father and sister (and later my mother) and I have had some very honest and vulnerable discussions that I think have led to a much better situation for all of us, which I'm grateful for. Unfortunately, that didn't happen with my brother, and he left this afternoon. Too bad.

Tomorrow shopping and a movie before my niece's Christmas play and Christmas Eve dinner. Most of the presents have already been opened due to my brother's strange schedule, so not sure exactly what we're going to do on Christmas Day! On Boxing Day we take the Amtrak train back to New Amsterdam (New York) and on the 27th we fly back to Old Amsterdam. We're looking forward to seeing friends for their pre-New Year's Eve party, though we've yet to figure out what we're doing for New Year's Eve!

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to all!

Whassup, cuz?

We arrived safely to New York City last night after a four-hour flight delay from Amsterdam. Have a raging head cold. But that's where the drama ends. We have a great hotel at a fair price in NJ with the ferry to Midtown literally outside the front door... cool! Went to the top of the Empire State Building today and saw New York from above with pristine (freezing) weather. Went shopping and both got hooked up with fancy new headphones (I must admit that Wilbert's are fancier than mine!) and bought some new clothes that are two sizes smaller than what I was wearing before surgery! :-) 

Tonight went out to dinner with my New York cousins and their spouses (we missed you, Perry!). They are an extraordinary, talented, generous, fun group of people and we very much enjoyed our time with them. Thanks for your presence and your presents, guys! We hope to see them here next week when we're back from Boston after Christmas on our way home. Hopefully their parents will be here as well... that would be an amazing bonus!

We're in at a decent hour, just had some hot tea at the bar, and are ready for bed. I may stay in tomorrow to "uitzieken" (ride out my head cold) while Wilbert hits fabric and knitting stores. Wish me luck!

Scott Kalwishky & Joel Larson

Was talking to some old college buddies this weekend and a name came up of a guy I hadn't thought about for a while: Scott Kalwishky (left and the leftmost guy in the picture to the right). We were never friends, but I knew everyone in Iowa City in the early 90's because I was the doorman at the gay club there for three years. And I saw him every weekend. He was younger than I was (I was in grad school) and we ran in different circles, but I was still curious to find out what happened to him. Then I found out he had died. Not sure of what - doesn't really matter at all - but did some good reminiscing with Joel and Tim about him and was sad to see him having left us. Joel especially had very positive memories about how Scott made him laugh a lot. 

At the same time I was looking for info about Scott, I came across information about another acquaintance, but this time from Des Moines, Joel Larson. I vaguely remember when this happened, but I never knew all the details. He was essentially murdered in Minneapolis (while cruising Loring Park) by someone who was deeply conflicted about their own sexuality. The murderer is now an out gay man in prison, having killed TWO gay guys, including a former state congressman, and wounding another. This murder occurred pre-Matthew Shepard, when the straight world still looked at a gay man getting killed while cruising as a bit of a freak show. He deserved better.

As I talked about with Tim and Joel, it's stuff like that that puts pressure on the rest of us to live our dreams and to live life to the fullest. 

California Episcopals Split from Anglican Communion

See CNN Story

I was furious when I read this. I am a very practical Christian and have very little tolerance for academic Christians who sit around trying to nitpick ever little last piece of Scripture to find out all the little rules that can make them as exclusive and as different as possible from the rest of humanity, which is what they are doing. It's an absolute CRIME AGAINST GOD to be doing that at a time when there is so much suffering and war in the world. They should keep themselves busy with solving that. I hope they lose all their property to the Episcopal Church.

I found their website and wrote them. You can too at van@sjoaquin.net and jgladstone@gladstonepr.com. 

Good riddance, fundamentalist cretins. The Anglican Communion doesn't need sex-obsessed, misogynistic troglodytes within its ranks.

You go down to South America and contemplate the finer points of scripture; with their stellar tradition of democracy and respect for human rights it sounds like it's right where you belong. The rest of us real Christians will continue to feed the poor, heal the sick, console the downtrodden and remember that "The greatest of these is LOVE." I wish those among your diocese who still remember this strength and hope in their search for a new church home.

I speak now out of anger - a language you probably understand with your petty, vengeful schoolmarm of a God. But under that is a deep sorrow for how horribly you've lost your way. And how sad I am that there is no place for people like us in your view of the Universe - when all we are doing is loving one another.

IHS.

Christopher & Wilbert
Married in the Christian Church 23 June this year

Just the way I am...

A telling exchange between me and a colleague:

Christopher: "This whole project is going to be really complicated."
Susan: "Why don't you do something easy?"
Christopher: "Since when do I do easy?"

More Weekend Pictures

At Starbucks, which opened last week at Schiphol Airport. This has the distinction of being the first Starbucks in Holland open to the general public. The other two are at Nike Headquarters in Hilversum and past the security checkpoint at the airport (which means you only get your latte with a a valid plane ticket). This is one of the largest ones I've ever seen, with an impressive extended seating area. WiFi available, but expensive. €12 for 90 minutes, if I remember correctly.

My colleague Karen at work, who has the distinction of being the only other Iowan working at my company. One of my staff refers to the two of us as "Children of the Corn"! :-) This was at the same company outing as with the owl (see below).

Smile for the birdy!

Here I'm getting up close and personal with a huge owl at a company outing on the Dutch island of Terschelling. It was my first trip there, and despite excessive and unannounced sportiness being required of me, I had a great time with my colleagues.

Late Trick Or Treat!

I just got these gorgeous pictures of my niece and nephew Cristián and Merrick from Boston. My nephew was born about 9 weeks prematurely last summer, but doesn't he look FABULOUS next to his blood-sucking big sister? :-) We can't wait to see them at Christmas!

Let the java flow!

From Michael (regarding an earlier post about the Starbucks behind immigration at Schiphol):

Well, after waiting a few months they are finaly opening up 2 more Starbucks in front of security at Schiphol Plaza. One is across from the Burger King, next to Per Tutti, the other (larger) one will be to the far left at arrivals 3 across from the AH and Hema.They are supposed ot open up this Thurseday, November 15th.

I can tell you that this has created quite a bit of excitement within my team at work. We're all Starbucks slaves and love it! And now I have an excuse to take the train to work every day and get some additional exercise by walking to and from the station... and getting off at the airport to go pick up my daily latte (skinny, of course!).

Book Suggestion

One of my best friends from college, Mike (a.k.a. Sister Jennifur Sledge), is partnered with one of the most bitingly funny yet sweet people I think I've ever met, Joel, and he expresses that unique combination of virtues through many different things, including musical theater, teaching, aerobics, go-go dancing, and writing hysterically funny books. His first book, Gay Haiku, was SO funny to ready, it had me in stitches forever, and I hate poetry. A sample:

I don't understand.

You love it when I do that-

Wait, no. That's Stephen.

Well, now he has a new book coming out in May 2008 (see left). I seriously suggest you pre-order it on Amazon and check it out!

You can also check out his website.

Funny Square Bug

Funny Square Bug
Originally uploaded by Krishiqua

I came across this while wandering through the National Botanical Gardens in Singapore. I have never seen anything like it before. Can anyone identify what kind of bug it is?

Ouch!

Makes you wish your name was Vanessa...

Wedding Painting... Finally...

The quality of the photo could be better, but this is our painting that our guests helped paint at our wedding in June, finally hanging on the wall in our living room. The mirror around the outside is our "guest book", signed by everyone who attended our wedding party later that night. We love the fact that we'll be reminded of that special day and our friends and family on a daily basis, and we love Jasper's design, which was then split up into 18 pieces, and one or two of our guests each painted one of the panels (based on a small postage stamp-sized model they had to copy), not knowing what the whole original was supposed to look like. The result was great, but a little uneven, so it's slightly retouched; but the foundation was still made by our loved ones! Thanks to Jasper, Bries, Felix at the Kunstenarij for leading this special activity!

Poessij bij

This is the single most loving and wonderful animal I've ever known. He is so affectionate and well-behaved, sometimes I don't know what I did to deserve him. He's one of my very best friends and he's always there for me. I love you, Angel! :-)

Singapore Orchid Garden

Orchid Garden Entrance
Originally uploaded by Krishiqua

The orchid was declared the national flower of Singapore not all that very long ago and remains one of its biggest exports, sort of like tulips in Holland. This garden was beautiful and huge, but I couldn't stand to spend more than a little while there because it was so warm and humid. Perhaps when I'm another 100 pounds lighter I'll enjoy it more! :-)

Home Sweet Home!

Click to enlarge. Sorry about the Dutch, but after discovering Apple's Comic Life program on my Mac and finally figuring out what it was for, I couldn't resist posting this little experiment I made on the airplane. The first of many, I suspect. :-) It's essentially about my business trip and how much I missed Wilbert, and how happy I am to be home! Ah, newlyweds! :-)

Barry & Christo do Singapore

Our KLM flight attendant friend Barry is in Singapore too, so we went out and had a fun evening after I had my way with the Mac store at Wheelock Place on Orchard Road and Patterson. He bought us tickets to see Stardust, which was surprisingly good and I enjoyed it very much. Good call, sweetie darling! We then went out for steaks, and I ate half my plate as usual, which is just fine! We're going to get together for some shopping tomorrow before heading back to the airport for the long flight home (almost 14 hours!). He's even going to drive me home, which is really sweet of him! We had a really nice talk (he may be Miss Nelly sometimes, but he's got a really good head on his shoulders!) and cleared up some long-standing misconceptions we'd had about each other, which was really great, because Wilbert and I really value his and Richard's friendship. We love you like sisters, boys!

First Leopard in Singapore

I have become an incredible Mac geek/snob in the past six months or so, after having thrown every Microsoft-based PC out of the house (except for Wilbert's) in utter disgust and frustration. Death to Vista.  So I just HAD to be at the Mac store in Singapore to stand in line for the new OS X Leopard operating system. And I was THE FIRST PERSON IN SINGAPORE TO BUY AND INSTALL IT! :-) I also won some prizes for being first! An Apple backpack, coffee mug, notebook, and some other cool swag. Meet some nice people too. Was super fun, and am enjoying it already. 

Singapore

Arrived Tuesday afternoon in Singapore for Global Sales & Marketing Management meeting. Left Amsterdam at 9:30 at night and got in 4:00 the next afternoon after a 12-hour flight on a KLM 777, which was very comfortable. Slept well. 

Singapore is amazing! VERY multi-cultural, VERY Anglo-Asian, VERY modern, and VERY structured, friendly and easy to get around. Love it and will come back. Look it up on Wikipedia if you want to learn about a fascinating place!

iPods are cheap here. Got a 160GB new classic for myself and a 16GB touch for a colleague at work... saved a bundle. Mac OS X Leopard out tonight... will probably go for it despite already having it waiting for me at home. :-)

Keeping pretty well to my diet, though a challenge. Good for me!

Dear friend Barry from Purmerend, KLM flight attendant, arrived yesterday, so we'll hang out after my meeting and all day tomorrow before flying back together tomorrow night! SERIOUS coincidence!

What it's like to work at my company

Enough said.

For Iowans and those who love us!

Only an Iowan would laugh at this one!!!!! And then pass it on to everyone they know in Iowa or anyone they know that has lived in Iowa!

This is so true.......... Jeff Foxworthy says you must be an Iowa if.............

• You've never met any celebrities...and you don't really care.
  
• Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor on the highway.
  
• "Vacation" means driving through the Amanas or going to Adventureland.
  
• You've seen all the biggest bands ten years after they were popular.
  
• You measure distance in minutes.
  
• Down south to you means Missouri.
  
• You know several people who have hit a deer.
  
• You have no problem spelling or pronouncing Des Moines.
  
• Your school classes were canceled because of cold.
  
• Your school classes were canceled because of heat.
  
• You know what "Hawks, Panthers, and Clones" are.
  
• You've ridden the school bus for an hour each way.
  
• You've had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.
  
• You think ethanol makes your truck "run a lot better".
  
• You know what's knee-high by the Fourth of July.
  
• Stores don't have bags, they have sacks.
  
• You see a car running in the parking lot at the Quick Stop with no one in it no matter what time of the year.
  
• You end your sentences with an unnecessary preposition. Example: "Where's my coat at?"
• All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable or animal.
  
• You can locate Iowa on the US map.
  
• Detassling was your first job or that of a brother or sister.
  
• Your idea of a really great tenderloin is when the meat is twice as big as the bun and accompanied only by ketchup and a dill pickle slice.
  
• You learn your pickup will run without a muffler.
  
• You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.
  
• When asked how your trip was to any foreign, exotic place, you say "It was different".
  
• You consider being called a "Pork Queen" an honor.
  
• You carry jumper cables in your car.
  
• You drink "pop".
  
• You know what the numbers 80, 35, 280 and 380 mean.
  
• You know what "cow chips" are.
• You actually understand these statements and pass them on to all your Iowa friends.

My TV Shows

Here's what I watch. Any other hot tips?

Shows with Hot Angsty Boys

• Smallville (Kryptonian cute!)
• Supernatural (hot brother-on-brother action!)
• Dexter (munchy mass murderer!)
• Kyle XY (cute pseudo-teenage chicken!)
• Journeyman (butch Rome guy!)

Get Real!

• America's Next Top Model (embarrassing but helped with the wedding pictures!)
• American Idol
• The X Factor (British American Idol with Simon Cowell, Dani Minogue, Sharon Osbourne and Louis Walsh)
• Dancing with the Stars (new!)
• Survivor 438: The Ghetto

Sci Fi Fabulous

• Stargate Atlantis
• Heroes
• Battlestar Galactica
• Eureka
• Ghost Whisperer
• Medium
• Doctor Who
• Torchwood

My Bitches

• Desperate Housewives (multi-bitch extravaganza)
• Bones (especially Angela Attitude)
• Dirt (Courtney is the uber-bitch!)
  
• Dead Like Me 
• America's Next Top Model

Crime

• CSI Las Vegas
• CSI Miami
• CSI New York (sort of)
• CSI West Des Moines
• CSI Timbuktu

Doing great!

Hey y'all, whassup?!?!

Life here is good. Week 3 post-surgery and feeling great!

Catch-up

Work is crazy right now - had to cancel a trip to London at the last minute because there's so much going on at work I need to take care of, but the good news is that I have the energy to take it on! Took me about 2-3 weeks to bounce back, but I'm good now!

Had some dear friends over from the U.S. (Las Vegas and San Francisco) to visit. We spent a gorgeous Saturday together weekend before last. It was great that both the ladies had had weight-loss surgery as well (2-3 years ago) and had booked impressive results - like 250 lbs. between the two of them. They were great support. Was fun to see you, Karen & John and Virginia & Michael!

In the retail therapy department, I've now definitively tossed all Windows-based PC's out of the house (except Wilbert's) and am now running three Mac's and a total Apple ecosystem with AppleTV and iPod's. LOVE IT! It actually works with very little trouble. Once I'd converted to Vista, I'd totally lost faith in PC's. The Dutch Consumer Protection Union has even called for a boycott of Vista because there have been so many complaints. My latest addition is a 24-inch new iMac... LOVE IT! Takes up next to no space and is gorgeous. Multi-tasks like a dream (mostly) and have finally completed the first wedding video (NL version) with it. So from now on, call me Big Mac Daddy! But in about a year you'll have to start cutting out the "Big" part. :-)

Yesterday had my first truly solid meal in three weeks. 100 grams of beef tenderloin (tiny), a sweet potato and mixed steamed veggies. I was in heaven! Tasted better than anything I'd ever eaten. And I handled it just fine and was also totally satisfied. Hope this continues!

One problem I have is that after a couple weeks of inactivity (except for some good walks), my back is pretty weak about about 5 a.m., no matter what position I've been sleeping in, it starts to hurt. Sometimes I can get back to sleep, sometimes not, so haven't been sleeping very well as a result. Think I'll go to physical therapy again.

Starting to enjoy Joost (not the guy who works for me, the Internet video service!). Sort of cool to have in a window on my desktop while I'm writing or surfing. Give it a try.

That's the general update for now! Oh, also welcome to our new little neighbor baby, Jason and congratulations Darren and Annette!

Back to Normal... sort of...

I went back to work on Monday after two weeks off post lap-band surgery, and my energy has bounced back and I'm feeling pretty good. Still some pain in my chest but that's to be expected (from the port, if you understand what that means). I'm still on a liquid diet, but only about 5 more days to go on that, yeah! Had a chat with my dietition today and wasn't very happy with the menu she was suggesting, but she's going to send it on paper with alternatives and I'll figure something out... the goal is the goal and the goal is sacred! 115kg by 24 September 2009. Watch this space!

Next week off to England again for some fun sales training, then the week after that is our quarterly sales meeting in Singapore, then a show in Hong Kong and a stop by our office in Beijing, so keeping busy!

Rumors of my demise are exaggerated...

Hey loyal blog readers! I'm here, I'm alive, I slept a FEW hours in the night, I've peed about 7 IV bags and 4 cups of tea out, and I'm completely inflated with gas! Side effect of the surgery. 

Things went well. Very friendly doctor with reassuring eyes, Dr. Behrens, and I came through it with flying colors. I'm already up and about (a little bit) and can take care of my basic needs, so that's a good sign. About to try breakfast soon - doubt it will be more than yoghurt.

But I digress. Life is pretty good today. I'm looking forward to seeing Wilbert when he arrives, and looking forward to going home soon to start our new adventure there! Many thanks to all those who have been pulling for me!

My weight loss goals

• Lose enough to be rid of joint/back pain and stop snoring [DONE!]
  
• Have physical activity become non-threatening/non-painful [DONE!]
  
• Create and stick to a regular work-out regime [DONE!]
  
• Shop in a "normal" store for clothes (at least shirts). [DONE!]
  
• Lose 100lbs/45.35kg [DONE!]
  
• Become "obese" and not "morbidly obese" according to the BMI scale. [DONE!]
  
• Lose 50kg/110kg [DONE!]
  
• Weigh my sophomore year in college weight (135.6kg/299lbs) which is also my lowest weight in 20 years [DONE!]
  
• Buy pants/trousers in a "normal" store (may be post-surgery)
  
• Have somebody attractive suggest something indecent. :-)
  
• Get rid of the extra skin I now have as a result of extreme weight gain/loss.
  
• MAYBE Become "overweight" and not "obese" according to the BMI scale (106kg/234lbs), though with my big build and musculature this is optional.
  
• No longer have this post always be the one on top of my blog.
  
• And perhaps the most difficult of all... no longer think of myself as "fat".
  

If you want to know how surgery went...

I probably won't be able to let everyone know personally how things went that quickly on Monday, but I'll try to get a quick update to my BLOG ASAP, perhaps just to the Twitter box on the right side of this page. So if you're interested, check back Monday afternoon/evening!

Naturally Protected

I usually don't like to identify the company that I work for, but I am too proud of the new ad campaign we launched this month to contain myself, so here it is. Love the visuals and how we link nature to our business! Good job, team!

Change of blog plans...

Moved my surgery blog to Blogger... easier to manage.

Surgery Next Monday!

Assuming the supposed case of shingles (which hasn't gotten any worse) doesn't get in the way, then I will be going into Rijnstate Hospital in Arnhem next Monday morning (24 September) at 10 a.m. to start my new life as a skinny person. Am going to the doctor this morning to see if this is really even a case of shingles or not, as I'm beginning to doubt.

Ready for it, want it done and over with, and am so happy to have Wilbert on this journey with me for support (he's great at that!). We're going to stay in a hotel there on Sunday night so that Monday morning doesn't get all stressy with a 2-hour drive, and he'll stay there during my one night in the hospital (knock wood). 

Will update you as soon as results of operation are known! Your prayers would be much appreciated. It's not an inherently risky operation (laparoscopic), all surgery is somewhat risky, and there's a 5% chance it could convert to an open operation (which I'm not sure I want). We're hoping for the best! And for me to be a supermodel by 41. :-)

Perfectly fits my mood this week...

Not just for roofs anymore!

The stress of the last three months (wedding, work and upcoming surgery) has earned me another ride on the Shingles Express. Not what I needed a week before surgery.

The left side of my upper back has been hurting for about a week, and physical therapy didn't help (though drugs did a bit). Seized up and irritated - sort of a burning sensation with occasional shots of severe pain if I stressed it too much (mostly due to poor posture).

This morning a fairly sizable rash appeared on my side - long and blistery. I put 2 and 2 together and headed to the emergency clinic where the doctor agreed with my diagnosis and prescribed me valacyclovir and a lidocaine salve. Said he usually wouldn't give me anything, but that considering my upcoming surgery, a more aggressive approach was called for.

To top it all off, I'm sitting at the airport on my way to England for three days (doctor told me there was no reason I couldn't). So not happy about being away from home too. At least it will be three fairly calm days of training.

So that's all my moaning and whining for now. Wish me luck!

Exhausted, satisfied, home

Wow, it's been a whirlwind summer. First the wedding (and all the many months of preparation), then my company's annual 3-day customer meeting, which I was responsible for (luckily with some fabulous help from several colleagues), and now the IBC  trade show in Amsterdam, which lasts for five days, including through the weekend. Luckily one of my able-bodied colleagues was responsible for that, though I gave a lot of support here and there with various things. Add to that our new advertising campaign, and this is the single biggest body of work I believe I have ever delivered in such a short period of time. 

I've been generally really happy with the outcome of everything. The wedding went off exactly the way we wanted it to, and I've actually enjoyed it more after it happened than while it was happening (which is somewhat typical of me - I'm a 3 on the enneagram if you know what that means). The User Group went off very well with nary a hitch (one or two small ones), though the content could have been fresher - partly my fault and partly the fault of the industry where technology has outpaced the ability of companies to implement it effectively, so things are sort of stagnant or frozen right now. The ad campaign is really fun and unique and gorgeous, but there are a few execution flaws we might have to fix - it all had to happen on such tight time schedules, it was crazy. But generally, I'm quite happy with everything. And quite grateful to the great (mostly new!) colleagues that helped pull it all off. Good job, team!

Now, after finishing IBC and a short trip to England (robbing me of yet another weekend day), it is going to be all about me for a while. I should get called for my surgery sometime the week of the 17th, and then will know exactly when I have to go in the next week. I've been talking a lot about it to people, who are curious about how it works. That has lead me to get pretty enthusiastic about the whole affair - sort of an Adjustable Gastric Band Ambassador - and I'm feeling really ready for it. 

Last but not least, I'm really happy to be back at home with Wilbert and not so much of a stress chicken (cool Dutch term) as I've been. Time to get back to basics, and I'm looking forward to it.

Same-Sex Marriage in Iowa?

Far from a done deal, but a step in the right direction!

Iowa court rules same-sex couples can marry

Story Highlights

• Six couples file lawsuit in 2005 after they were denied marriage licenses
  
• Suit: Denials violated equal-protection, due-process under state constitution
  
• District judge rules: Same-sex couples "may not be denied licenses to marry"
  
• Court strikes down state law declaring marriage only between man and woman
  

(CNN) -- An Iowa district court ruled Thursday that same-sex couples can marry based on the state constitution's guarantee of equal treatment, court documents show.

The ruling was in response to a December 2005 lawsuit brought by six same-sex couples seeking to wed. They were denied marriage licenses and claimed such treatment violates equal-protection and due-process clauses in the Iowa constitution.

The court also struck down a state law declaring valid marriages are only between a man and woman.

The Iowa District Court for Polk County advances the case to the Iowa Supreme Court which will make a final decision on same-sex marriage, according to Lambda Legal, a gay and lesbian legal organization representing the couples.

The 63-page ruling, written by Judge Robert Hanson states: "Couples, such as plaintiffs, who are otherwise qualified to marry one another may not be denied licenses to marry or certificates of marriage or in any other way prevented from entering into a civil marriage pursuant to Iowa Code Chapter 595 by reason of the fact that both persons compromising such a couple are of the same sex."

The law describing marriage as between a man and a woman, "constitutes the most intrusive means by the state to regulate marriage. This statute is an absolute prohibition on the ability of gay and lesbian individuals to marry a person of their choosing," Hanson wrote.

Lambda says the six couples are all in long-term relationship - one couple has been together for six years, another couple has been together for 17 years.

"Three of the couples are raising children, others are planning families, and all want the responsibilities of marriage and the protections only marriage can provide," according to the organization.

"We respectfully disagree with the court's decision, and we're going to ask for a stay," said Polk County Attorney John Sarcone.

He said his office will examine whether it's best to file a motion to reconsider. But barring a change in the court's opinion, Sarcone will appeal the ruling.

Co-counsel for the plaintiffs along with Lambda Legal, Dennis Johnson called the ruling "a significant step forward in recognizing the constitutional rights of all Iowans, and it's an amazing day for same-sex couples and their families all across Iowa."

Beie lekker, man!

Our friend Hans celebrated his belated birthday tonight with a party celebrated in South African style! Hans was inspired by his holiday trip last year and, as an accomplished cook, he was able to put together a delicious dinner of South African delicacies (non of which I can remember, unfortunately). It was quite impressive! And the company was lovely as well. Thanks for a lovely evening, Hans and co.!

Bearforce1: Only in Amsterdam!

Where else could crazy shit like this happen? I can't figure out whether it's the coolest thing I've ever seen or absolute trash. Or both. :-) Enjoy this little postcard from Holland. The big girls are representing!

Big Girls of the World Unite!

You better work, Tyra!

A New Blog Is Born

Instead of boring you lot to death with my endless ramblings about my upcoming weight loss surgery, I've decided to set up a new blog specifically for this topic (since Blog Diversification seems to be all the rage these days, Timo!). It will also be a kind of journal for me and an opportunity to share my experiences with others who are considering going through the same thing. 

The link is on the right side of this page, or click here.

Gastric Banding Surgery Date Finalized!

I've been in preparation for weight loss surgery for more than a year now; following the process of going to my G.P., going to the Dutch Obesity Clinic, getting insurance approval and then going through a group presentation and pre-operative screening. I could have had the surgery already before the wedding, but decided I would much rather enjoy the wedding without being in recovery from the surgery. So this week I went back and had the final consultation with the anesthesiologist and got the final go-ahead for surgery the week of 24 September. I'll get a call the week ahead of time with an exact date. Exciting and scary!

For anyone who doesn't know what adjustable gastric banding is, check out the Wikipedia article on the topic for a good view of what I'll be facing.

I've essentially gotten to the point now where I can survive going to work everyday and minor outings - and even business trips if pressed to - but that it just plain hurts to do any other physical activity because of my weight. My knees are OK, but my hips and my back give me a lot of trouble. And I can't imagine going into my 40's feeling like this... it's just completely unacceptable to me. So I'm going to do something about it, and to tell the truth, I can't wait. As a matter of fact, I've already started altering my eating patterns in preparation for the surgery.

I should lose 2-4 kgs. per month, so next year this time I could be significantly slimmer, and another year after that, I could be pretty close to my goal. which is around 120 kgs., though we'll have to see what I'm looking like closer to the time. I'll have lots of help along the way... not just supportive husband and friends, but a whole team of experts from the Nederlandse Obesitas Kliniek (NOK) in Hilversum, where I'll be getting physical therapy, group therapy, a nutritionist's advice and other aftercare. 

So I'm scared, excited, can't wait, anxious, hopeful, and ready. Wish me luck! It's time to change my life for the better... and for good.

Congratulations, Barry & Richard!

Our most heartfelt congratulations go out to Barry & Richard, who got married this past Tuesday! Another couple of gorgeous men off the open market! :-) We wish you many happy years together, dear friends. We're here to support you in every way we can! And we can't wait for the party!

Welcome, Mr. Miyagi

We went to get our hair cut at Carmen's last night, and she told us about a new sushi place in the new neighborhood being built south of town in a sort of strip mall. We were somewhat incredulous... the sushi place on the town square was closed last year, so we figured Purmerend's tastes weren't sophisticated enough to support another Japanese restaurant. But luckily we we wrong!

mr. miyagi

van damplein 22
1448 nb Purmerend
Noord-Holland
Tel.: 0299 416 907

It was fantastic... very modern and lots of natural light. The food was great, and the owner, a Dutch-Chinese guy named John, was engaging, friendly and knowledgeable. We'll be spending a lot of time there, and we encourage you to do the same!

Download Our Wedding Album!

Click here to download an Adobe Acrobat version of our wedding album! Warning: It's about 65MB so it will take a while, but has 100 pages of fun stuff! You're probably better off right clicking and selecting "Save Target As..."

Gay Pride Amsterdam

Though I was still at home recovering from the head cold I got this week, and Wilbert was working and came home with the same head cold I had, we followed Amsterdam Gay Pride on the local TV channel AT5, where we were not surprised to see our dear friend and renowned Amsterdam drag diva Miss Donna-tella Williams  (a.k.a. Frank, middle above) with her friends Bellissima la Cantante and Charite Carmen (a.k.a. Paul & John).

This year's biggest news items were the inclusion of a boat of gay and lesbian teenagers 16 years old and younger, a boat of heterosexual supporters, and a boat from the Amsterdam city council.

Sick Chicken

Felt a tickle in my throat on Monday night after dinner, and by Tuesday morning it was a full-on head cold. Went into work for an important meeting and a goodbye lunch for an employee on Tuesday, but paid for it by being flat on my back all day yesterday. This morning it's moved into my chest and I'm coughing up all sorts of stuff, but I'm feeling a bit better. Am probably going to try work tomorrow to get some stuff done before taking it easy this weekend. Going stir crazy already. But can't go more than a few hours without having to lie down, and as soon as I lie down, I have coughing fits again. Blech! Can't wait to get better.

Girls Gone Wild!

Ah, the scary things that can happen when you play "Vogue" with a bunch of drunken queens at a party! :-) Notice the ring-leader.

Another look back...

Hard to believe it is already a month ago that we got married at MCC-DC in Washington! And we keep enjoying the memories every day. Yesterday, we got a CD-ROM in the post from our dear friends Harvey & Ellen in Maryland with some more pictures we'd not yet seen. We especially loved this one, which shows us in our wedding finery with some custom boutonnieres with a Dutch wooden tulip from the floating flower market in Amsterdam and a U.S. mini-calla lily. 

Thanks to everyone who contributed photos so far: Josh (especially!), Tim, Michael, Jeff, Merrick (a budding photographer since she was 4!), Kahunya (habari, bibi!), and Jeroen (in NL).

Anyone else have any pictures to share? Let us know!

www.Starbucks.nl

Well, it might not seem like a big deal to you, but after more than 10 bloody years of waiting, there is FINALLY a fucking Starbucks in The Netherlands! The cruel irony is that it might as well be inside Fort Knox, because you can only go there if you are flying to a country that's part of the EU - it's at the airport behind security!

The other bad news is that my little test of it today showed that at least a few of the Dutch staff have not yet mastered the friendly American Starbucks style:

Me: "Is that my caramel frappaccino?"

Her: "Does that look like caramel to you?"

Me: "Well, yes, it does."

Her: Eyes roll. 

So there's still some major work to do there. Hope they open one outside of security somewhere soon... it's about time!

Big Mac Daddy

Sold some stock to pay off the final wedding bills and decided to spend some of the leftover proceeds on a MacBook Pro, my first serious step into the world of Apple. So far I'm loving it to death, and am even more excited about the upcoming Leopard operating system in October! More on my new Mac experiences soon!

Kind Words

Today I received a really lovely e-mail from a dear uncle that I didn't know that well growing up but that I've really admired and enjoyed spending a lot of time with in my adult life. He sort of floored me with what he had to say to me:

Dear Christopher,

In the afterglow of your and Wilbert's wedding, I have found myself thinking about the relationship you and I have formed as adults over the past fifteen years or so. Recently, I have been struck by how you have made your own life into what you needed by the most amazing series of choices and commitments. You have made decisions and done things for which ordinary folks would lack the courage. Your actions have been faithful to who you are and have had an enormous positive impact on those who love you. I admire you very much and wish nothing but the best for you in life.

It's true that I've taken some pretty big leaps/risks in life, and that's because somewhere I learned to trust my intuition, to not question myself too much, and to commit to something and trust the universe will rise to support me. I'm grateful for this feedback, and very grateful for the life I have and the wonderful people like Fritz I have in it.

Josh & Lorie in Holland

My brother Josh just got a new job and is about to move with his lovely wife Lorie to Missouri, so to celebrate this important transition in their lives, they popped over to Europe for a few weeks of rest and relaxation... and American-style speed sight seeing. :-) They stayed with us for five days and as usual were a pleasure to be with. We had dinner one night at Wilbert's parents' in Hoorn. Good luck with your new life, guys!

Holland USA!

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Originally uploaded by Christo's POV

One of the oddities of the area I grew up in is the small town of Pella, Iowa. Founded by a group of about 800 Dutch colonists seeking religious freedom and economic opportunity in the mid 1800's, it still very actively promotes its heritage today.

Wilbert and I drove over for the day and enjoyed this little bit of Holland in the USA during our honeymoon trip. It was fun and a bit strange all at the same time! :-)

Bye Bye USA & Thank you!

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Originally uploaded by Christo's POV

It was a wonderful trip and we got to see oodles of wonderful people! We were honored by your presence at our wedding and shower, and enjoyed seeing you elsewhere too! Thanks for your warmth, generosity and hospitality!

This photo was from our last morning in Des Moines where we had breakfast at Perkins with my parents and dear friend Stacey (who is a loyal blog reader, gorgeous and available!). :-)

The trip home was without incident. Actually half-way comfortable for economy seats in a 767. Made it back to work today and am doing OK despite a crap night's sleep. Good to see everyone back at work, they're nice people. :-)

iPhone

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Originally uploaded by Christo's POV

Leaving the AT&T store on the 29th of June with my brand new iPhone. Who cares that the phone doesn't work (for now) in Europe... everything else that does work is simply AMAZING. It does exactly what it promises to do in the ads, and sets a new standard for the consumer electronics industry. Let's hope they are up to the challenge like Apple is!

20th High School Reunion

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Originally uploaded by Christo's POV

It was fun! A really large group of down-to-earth, nice people. Had a great time and there were a few surprises. One "he" is now a "she", and the last person in the world I expected to be gay brought his boyfriend. Heartwarming moments. :-) Was lots of fun.

Heidi's Surprise

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Originally uploaded by Christo's POV

My sister, who gave birth to a gorgeous premature baby last month, Cristian Cruz Almodovar, wasn't expected to make it to our wedding, but she moved heaven and earth (and Cristian is doing great!) so she came. It was wonderful having her there (though I always knew in my heart she would find a way to make it!), and reminded me of the importance of family. I've scanned a ton of old pictures while at home in Des Moines and will distribute them to family, but this one made me think of her fondly. :-)

Flowers

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Originally uploaded by Christo's POV

All our flower arrangements were based on wooden tulips we bought from the Flower Market in Amsterdam and calla lillies purchased locally. They matched our color scheme and the flags hanging in the sanctuary perfectly.

LimoPoepies

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Originally uploaded by Christo's POV

Us in front of the hotel after arriving back from the church in our lovely limo. An expensive item, but nothing like removing travel hassles to reduce stress!

Candelabra Goddess

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Originally uploaded by Christo's POV

Us with our friend Ann, who decorated our gorgeous wedding candelabra.

Great Grandfather's Creed

U.S. Wedding

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Originally uploaded by Christo's POV

It was a beautiful day, filled with friends and family, love and JOY! We'll write a lot more about it later, but here is the picture that says it all. There were no stronger family values on that day than the ones going on in that church! :-) It was magical, beautiful and so special!

For more pictures, just click on the one to the right and you'll be taken to our Flickr PhotoStream! Many thanks to our dear brother Josh for the excellent photography work!

Wedding Thank You's

There are a couple people without whom our wedding would not have been anywhere near as fabulous, so we'd like to thank them here and also give them our highest recommendations (in the case of the vendors):

• Limmen Bakery, Purmerend, for our excellent wedding cake!
• Hotel Purmerend (Van der Valk), especially manager Tim Ursem, for a fantastic party location and excellent service
• Asa-Foto.nl, our photographers, though they still have to prove themselves! :-) www.asa-foto.nl
• De Kunstenarij in Ede, who ran our art activity that produced our beautiful wedding present http://www.kunstenarij.nl/
• D.J. Dolphin, our excellent D.J. who did his job professionally, quietly and excellently! http://www.djdolphin.nl/home
• Freek Seiffers, our "trouwambtenaar", who did a great job of presiding over our ceremony with humor and feeling. Everyone liked him.

All of our friends and family who did little things to make it a special day, like Jeroen for his great photos (the first we've seen!), Richard, Barry and Hans for filming with our camcorder all day (what a treat!), Hans for playing chauffeur, Frank for his delightful performance, and so on and so on! You guys are the best!

Viva Las Vegas!

Well, Phase 1 of Project Honeymoon has began! We left for the U.S. last Sunday at 12:30 p.m., after circumnavigating most of North Holland, which was suffering from some odd traffic jams for a Sunday morning. We got two seats together next to the window, and despite the economy (plus) seating, it was a relatively comfortable flight, except for the fact that my body decided it was no longer willing to digest or retain food and Wilbert wasn't feeling very well either. Probably all the heat and stress of the past few days. We're feeling better now.

We arrived in Washington D.C. and had a brief delay/plane change before starting the 5 hour flight to Las Vegas. Got here around 9 p.m., hopped in a town car, and made it to our wonderful apartment at the Marriott Grand Chateau, a beautiful time-share property just off-strip and across the street from the Planet Hollywood shops.

After a somewhat dodgy night's sleep, we got up and made breakfast in our kitchenette, and then went to a sales presentation for the property. Wilbert was adamant that we shouldn't make such a big investment just after getting married, and just before buying him a car and perhaps a new house. A very common sense approach, so we put of the decision for another year and committed to coming back again next year to reconsider and enjoy the property again.

We then started our shopping activities, including a gorgeous Ed Hardy t-shirt, some Abercrombie & Fitch shirts and shorts, some new PSP games and two new Fossil watches. We love the fact that the U.S. dollar is currently still in the toilet, effectively giving us a 25% discount on everything. :-)

We freshened up and napped at the apartment before going out for dinner and a little gambling at P.F. Changs and the new Planet Hollywood (formerly Aladdin) Hotel & Casino. The upgrades they've done are very nice, but I won't be convinced it's an improvement until it's done. Their nightclub does apparently have a gay night on Fridays.

Had a decent night's sleep (with the help of some pills) and a lovely American breakfast Wilbert cooked in our apartment, and now we're going clothes shopping before an afternoon at the pool, then the Cirque du Soleil show Mystere tonight at Treasure Island! Tomorrow prime rib at Blackstones in the Monte Carlo and then the Lance Burton magic show, Thursday dinner with friends Karen & John, and Friday the Bill Maher show at the Hard Rock Hotel! So we're keeping busy and having fun in Vegas!

C & W Exchange Vows

C & W Exchange Vows
Originally uploaded by Christo's POV

This was for me the most beautiful moment of the ceremony. You don't usually actually even get to say anything other than "Yes, I do", but our justice of the peace gave us the chance to speak our own vows to one another, making an otherwise somewhat impersonal ceremony much more personal and sentimental.

C & W Sign Marriage Certificate

C & W Sign Marriage Certificate
Originally uploaded by Christo's POV

Wilbert has such a serious look on his face (but with a tinge of a smile) as he signs the marriage certificate. I don't have any idea what I was thinking at the time, I was so completely out of it between the heat and the overwhelming emotion.

Decending the Town Hall Steps with Bubbles

Decending the Town Hall Steps with Bubbles
Originally uploaded by Christo's POV

Rice is a big no-no, so our wedding planner arranged bubbles (in a little container the shape of a wedding cake!), and all our guest blew bubbles as we decended the staircase.

C & W Greet Fans from Balcony

C & W Greet Fans from Balcony
Originally uploaded by Christo's POV

My favorite picture to date, Wilbert and I greet our friends and family from atop the balcony outside the 2nd floor wedding room at the old town hall. I was still on Cloud 9 and felt like I was floating. :-)

Family Outside of Town Hall

Family Outside of Town Hall
Originally uploaded by Christo's POV

Following our wedding, we gathered with the whole family outside for photos before going to lunch.

Wedding Cake

Wedding Cake
Originally uploaded by Christo's POV

Six layers, each one with frosting roses in each of our six colors! It was chipolata (sp?) flavored with a really fine and creamy texture; delicious! We of course have the top layer saved at home in our freezer! :-)

We're Married!

It was a day that was all about warmth! The warmth we feel for one another, the warmth we feel for our friends and family and that they feel for us, and the incredible (and sudden) warmth of the weather that kept us sweating like corn-fed Iowa hogs all day long!

We started out with our friend Carmen joining us first thing in the morning to get our hair whipped into shape. She put on enough hairspray for us to remain perfectly coiffed all day long, despite the heat. Thanks, Carmen!

The photographer then arrived at 9:30 and we spent an hour in the garden and walking around our neighborhood and its beautiful canal and parks taking pictures. We used our extensive knowledge of modeling from having watched 120 episodes of America's Next Top Model (and Britain's Next Top Model and Holland's Next Top Model) in order to create gorgeous pictures.

Our friend and my colleage Nadra then arrived to make sure everything was ready to go for the rest of the day, then our friend Hans then drove us to the old town hall, where all our friends and family were waiting outside.

The ceremony was quick but emotional, with Wilbert and I sharing emotional vows with each other, and were also very moved when they played "You Raise Me Up" by Josh Groban during the official signing of the marriage license by us, the justice of the peace and Wilbert's mom and dad.

We then took additional family and group photos outside before proceeding to a delicious lunch at our favorite cafe in town with a select group of friends and family.

Exhausted, we took a quick break back at the hotel (soaked in a freezing cold bath to get rid of some of the heat), and then spent the afternoon doing a special art activity which I'll write more about a different time. We then had dinner in a beautiful greenhouse before starting the evening's festivities at 7 p.m. Reception line, gifts, unique guest book, wedding cake, first dance, disco, special performance by a friend, lots of great conversations, free-flowing booze, fantastic dance music, all until 1 a.m. Was tons of fun, crazy, exhausting and fabulous.

Insanely tired today, but the only thing we have to do is pack, so we're cool. We leave for Las Vegas, Washington D.C. and Des Moines tomorrow.

THANK YOU to all of our dear friends and families for making it a memorable and fabulous day for us. We hope you all had lots of fun as well, and we can't wait to see you all again soon!

De Trouwspeech

Huwelijk van
Christopher Jon Rosebrook en
Willebrordus Wilhelmus Maria Schouten
op 8 juni 2007 om 11.00 uur
Stadhuis aan de Kaasmarkt te Purmerend

Hartelijk welkom op het stadhuis van de gemeente Purmerend voor de plechtige voltrekking van het huwelijk van Christopher en Wilbert. Zij komen zodadelijk binnen en ik wil u vragen ze een daverend welkom te geven. Voordat ze binnenkomen nog een paar huishoudelijke mededelingen: mobieltjes uit en geen rijst strooien alstublieft!

(muziek)

Christopher en Wilbert, ook van harte welkom voor de voltrekking van jullie huwelijk in aanwezigheid van jullie familie en vrienden.

Het is een mooie dag om te trouwen deze Se juni 2007 en ik hoop dat het een dag wordt die jullie nog lang zullen herinneren en vieren met jullie dierbaren.

Je krijgt niet altijd waar je om vraagt in het leven. Vaak leidt dat tot teleurstellingen en frustraties. De kunst van het leven is juist om tevreden te zijn met wat je krijgt. En nog beter is het om goed je ogen open te houden, want soms struikel je bijna over datgene waar je al zo lang op wacht en zie je het niet. Andere keren moet je nog eens goed nadenken of je wei het goede hebt gewenst. Je prioriteiten bijstellen, heet dat. Voortschreidend inzicht. Tevreden zijn met wie je bent is de belangrijkste voorwaarde om gelukkig te worden. Ais jij het geluk niet hebt gevonden, kan je een ander ook niet gelukkig maken. Soms duurt het even voor je de juiste wens hebt geformuleerd. Soms weet je al op je lSe waar je naar op zoek gaat, soms pas op je 2Se. Sommige mensen komen er nooit achter. Dat is bij jullie zeker niet het geval. Je weten precies wat je wilt en vooral ook wie je wilt. Een duidelijke keuze!

Een paar weken geleden was ik bij jullie om deze huwelijksvoltrekking te bespreken. Ik ben nog nooit zo een trouwkaart tegengekomen: prachtig en wat een zorg en aandacht is daar aan besteed.

Christopher is een andere persoonlijkheid dan Wilbert; ze vullen elkaar perfect aan. Christopher is druk en impulsief en Wilbert is bedachtzaam. Wilbert haalt koffie en Christopher laat mij de werking van de TV, de afstandsbedieningen en de PC + aile decoders zien. Wilbert heeft ook lang gewacht met "ja" zeggen. Maar het is ook een volmondig "JA".

Wilbert vertelde gepassioneerd over zijn werk met modestoffen en de nieuwe ontwikkelingen op dat gebied.

Christopher is Marketing director bij Irdeto (coderen en decoderen) Hij kan vanaf de andere kant van de wereld Wilbert bij wijze van spreken laten afwassen.

Ze hebben mij verteld dat ze verslaafd aan elkaar zijn en met dit huwelijk een nieuwe fase in hun leven ingaan. Ze passen bij elkaar en ze houden zielsveel van elkaar. Allemaal prima redenen om met elkaar te gaan trouwen. Het eerste deel in Purmerend en het tweede deel in de VS.
Nu dat geregeld is ga ik voorlezen waar je "Ja" tegen zegt als je met elkaar trouwt:

Echtgenoten zijn elkaar trouw, hulp en bijstand verschuldigd en indien nodig verplicht om elkaar te onderhouden.

Echtgenoten zijn tegenover elkaar verplicht elkaars kinderen op te voeden. Bij rechtshandelingen hebben jullie elkaars toestemming nodig. Bijvoorbeeld bij het kopen of huren van van een huis of bij het doen van schenkingen, tenzij de wet anders vermeldt.

Beiden hebben het recht, maar niet de plicht om de naam van de echtgenoot te gebruiken. Christopher heeft mij expliciet gevraagd om u mee te delen dat hij heel erg dankbaar is voor het respect en de warmte die hij heeft ondervonden bij de familie van Wilbert. Hij zal de naam Schouten dan ook met trots dragen.

Dan gaan we nu over tot het voltrekken van het huwelijk:

Willen jullie gaan staan, elkaar de rechterhand geven en antwoord geven op de volgende vraag:

Christopher Jon Rosebrook neem jij aan tot je echtgenoot: Willebrordus Wilhelmus Maria Schouten en beloof je trouw aile plichten te vervullen die de wet aan het huwelijk verbindt, Wilbert lief te hebben en te respecteren in goede en slechte rijden, bij ziekte en gezondheid en ik rijkdom en armoede. Wat is daarop je antwoord?

Willebrordus Wilhelmus Maria Schouten neem jij aan tot je echtgenoot: Christopher Jon Rosebrook en beloof je trouw aile plichten te vervullen die de wet aan het huwelijk verbindt, Christopher lief te hebben en te respecteren in goede en slechte rijden, bij ziekte en gezondheid en ik rijkdom en armoede. Wat is daarop je antwoord?

Dan verklaar ik, Freek Seiffers, ambtenaar van de burgerlijke stand van de gemeente Purmerend dat jullie door het huwelijk aan elkaar verbonden zijn. Ik wil jullie daar van harte me feliciteren.

(ringen)

Jullie mogen elkaar nu kussen.

Dan kunnen we nu de huwelijksakte tekenen.

Nu is het officieel! Meneer en meneer Schouten. Hoe klinkt dat? Het zal wei even wennen zijn als jullie morgen wakker wordt naast een getrouwde man. Jullie wonen al een tijd bij elkaar en misschien denk dat het feit dat je nu getrouwd bent daar niets aan veranderd. Nou dan denk je verkeerd. Ik weet zeker dat alle getrouwde mensen hier aanwezig kunnen verklaren dat het leven als je getrouwd bent veel leuker wordt. Geen problemen meer! De heIe wereld ziet er mooier uit. Alles gaat veel makkelijker. Echt waar. Je moet er natuurlijk zelf ook iets aan doen, want resultaten behaald in het verleden bieden geen garantie voor de toekomst.

Het tweede deel van het huwelijk zal in de V.S. plaatsvinden met andere aanwezigen. Ook daar Iigt een deel van jullie verleden en zijn er mensen die van jullie houden en waar jullie van houden. Jullie toekomst Iigt voorlopig in Nederland, in Purmerend en met elkaar. Vanaf vandaag als echtgenoten.

De toekomst lacht jullie tegemoet ... en jullie lachen terug. Nog heel vaak en heel veel en ik hoop op hetzelfde moment. De wereld Iigt aan jullie voeten, the sky is the limit. Aile opties Iiggen voor jullie open; grijp die kans en maak er wat moois van! samen nog meer mooie reizen maken en veel van de wereld zien.

Ik vind het een enorme eer dat ik jullie huwelijk mocht voltrekken en ik wens jullie dan ook aile goeds samen met je familie, vrienden en andere dierbaren. Ik weet zeker dat jullie in goede en slechte tijden op elkaar kunnen bouwen!

Tot slot nog een gedicht.

Een huwelijk is een avontuur
twee mensen staan op wacht bij elkaars eenzaamheid waakzaam en attent
Een huwelijk is met open handen en open hart klaar staan voor de ander
het is vrijheid en geborgenheid
jezelf zijn door er voor een ander te willen zijn Een huwelijk is leven
met het mysterie van de andere mens
het is "ja" zeggen, te pas en te on pas
"Een huwelijk wordt gesloten" zegt men
"Een huwelijk wordt geopend" is meer waar Het is een groeiproces waarin je ruimte schept waarin de ander zichzelf kan zijn
Een huwelijk is niet "nu ben je van mij" maar "ik ben er voor jou"
het is een ontdekkingstocht naar de ander Een huweljjk is jezelf binden
in een wereld die ongebondenheid nastreeft Een huwelijk is geven
in een wereld die nemen in haar vaandel heeft staan Een huwelijk is zeggen
dat de ander alles is
in een wereld waar de mens soms niets schijnt te zijn Een huwelijk is zeggen
dat het leven te groot is voor een mens alleen Een huwelijk is kiezen
voor samenzijn

Ik wens jullie een prettige voortzetting van deze dag en nogmaals het allerbeste met veel geluk en gezondheid in de toekomst.

Dames en heren, dan is hiermee een einde gekomen aan deze plechtigheid. Ik dank u mede namens het bruidspaar hartelijk voor uw aandacht en ik wens u nog een bijzonder plezierige dag.

The Wedding Test

One of the major questions for me throughout our entire engagement process (being a 3 on the enneagram made it inevitable) has been "How will people react to us getting married?" Not our friends, but people from our parents' generation. Would we be treated with the same respect that straight married couples are treated? Will they take us as seriously? Will they overcome any prejudice that they might have about homosexuality out of respect for us and/or our parents?

The answer has pretty much universally been yes. And in a few cases, the answer has been a very surprising yes. There have been two surprises that have impacted us the most: 1) Some of the more conservative Christian members of Wilbert's family who have made some pretty outrageous statements about homosexuality in the past - who we invited only after a fair amount of debate and careful thought - have decided to attend our wedding here, and 2) Some of my mom's friends have banded together to put on a wedding shower for us when we're in Des Moines after both weddings (see invite above). With the latter we were really shocked and pleasantly surprised, especially because we thought that one of the ladies putting it on wasn't necessarily the most gay-friendly person around. I think they're largely doing it out of respect and love for my parents, but I would be curious to know about some of the conversation or thought that went on in the background there. And on the other hand, maybe I'm overanalyzing and underestimating them.

Regardless of anyone's prior prejudices or feelings, it looks like just about everyone is treating us with love and dignity and respect, and I for one am deeply grateful and really happy about it. One of the nicest things about coming to live in The Netherlands is the fact that I can focus much less on being gay and much more on being a human being because it's not a daily struggle for basic human rights here. That has been a great blessing in my life, and especially now, I'm really happy to live in a country that allows us to formally recognize our relationship with dignity and respect, and that our friends and family around the world are willing to do the same. We're very lucky.

Back On Track

Wow, what a heavy two weeks!

Slow post-Lasek progress in my right eye but now it seems like things are starting to progress a bit better. My sight is progressing faster than it did after the first operation, and I'm hopeful I'll get to 20/20 in time. Check-up scheduled for next week at the 1 month mark, so we'll see.

Got smacked with a really severe but weird stomach flu that's going around. Put me flat on my ass in bed for 24 hours, included a fainting spell and stomach cramps and fever, but pretty much nothing else. Was gone again almost as quick as it showed up, all within the span of Friday - Sunday. Better last week than next week...

Wedding preparations are going very well. Am confident we have everything taken care of or at least thought of. Still lots to DO but nothing else left to plan, and good people taking care of the details, so we feel comfortable and happy.

We're also overjoyed with our guest lists and everyone who is coming! The only major disappointment is my sister, who unexpectedly gave birth to a beautiful baby boy named Cristian Cruz Almodovar about 9 weeks early. He's healthy and doing great for a premature baby his age, but Heidi and Mel will be engaged in his care and probably won't be able to make it to the wedding. We're overjoyed and thankful for a healthy new nephew, but heartbroken they won't be with us. :-( At least they're still putting our flower girl on a plane to come be with us! :-)

A million things left to do in the coming 1 week before the Dutch wedding, but we know what they all are and are still incredibly looking forward to spending an amazing day with each other and with all our guests! If you're coming, see you there!

Touch Up Update

It's been a rough but bearable weekend, managed with drugs and insane amounts of sleep (hurts/bothers less with your eyes closed, and as long as your eyes are closed. might as well catch a few zzzz's!). Pain/discomfort worst on day 3, better on day 4 (though I can feel my eyes giving up towards the end fo the day). Everything super fuzzy/blurry right now. Am typing this a) because I'm an excellent touch typist, and b) because I'm using Widows Magnifyer and looking at 1-inch tall letters right now). Do it mostly with my eyes closed because I can't stand to have them open for long enough to read a single paragraph. Took a walking trip to the gas pump yesterday with Wilbert to buy cat food, and by the time we were back, my eyes had had enough and it was time to go to sleep. I ramble, but this is my life.

Going back to the doctor in a few hours to see if they will remove this counfoundingly uncomfortable "bandage lenses" from my eyes... condition of which is that the skin layer has fully grown back and closed. Last time they made me wait an additional 4-5 days, which I hated. I'm expecting the same today, but hoping for better. Wish me luck! I just want to get back up on my feet and (curiously enough, sick child that I am) get back to work! Staying at home doing nothing drives me stir crazy.

On the postiive side, wedding plans are going swimmingly, especially with attendance. Favorite people, beloved aunts and uncles and good friends from throughout time and space are all signing on for the party in D.C., while we've got a fabulous crew of people from our life in Holland joining us here, including a few surprises from the more bible-banging side of our family. We are honored to have them and will hopefully teach them a lesson by example.