Back to Sin City

I’ve been to Las Vegas at least once a year for the last eight years for work (sometimes twice!), and now I’m back again. And I have an incredible love/hate relationship with the place.

On the one hand, it’s America, where I grew up, with all of the comforts and conveniences that I grew up with (but then magnified): everything’s open 24 hours a day, there’s great food, great shopping, and it’s all about EXCESS. For those of you reading this in the U.S., Holland (and Europe in general) is much more sober and low-key in the way they express themselves, so to say Las Vegas is culture shock for most Europeans is putting it lightly, I believe.

My life over the last six months has been about learning the fine art of moderation - especially with eating. “Moderation” is not usually in the vocabulary of a Scorpio, let alone a triple Scorpio! And I’ve learned it well, and prepared myself mentally for what it would be like to be in Las Vegas again ahead of time, because I knew it would present a lot of challenges. I’ve found the places where I can buy fresh fruit to take with me, found the best place to buy bottled water, etc. etc. etc. to make sure I stay on track. I did a good job at dinner last night: ate half a house salad, half a piece of prime rib with all the fat trimmed off, and some broccoli. No dessert, no wine, no eating everything on my plate: I was pretty proud. Then had the leftovers for breakfast this morning. Did well on the plane as well.

Now it comes to my last remaining vices: gambling and techno-toys. I got the gambling thing under control quite some time ago: learning to set limits and pace myself, and to only spend what I was willing to lose. So that’s what I did last night, and got really lucky: twice. I was up $500, and this morning was bored and lonely with nothing to do so promptly lost $300 of bit back to The House. :-(

I’m still up $200, so that’s not really the point. The point is why we as human beings have the need to engage with such passion in consumption, hedonism and risky behavior. Why we are driven to acquire. I’ve been thinking a lot about that recently. Reducing food intake hasn’t really brought up any conscious emotional issues for me, it HAS seemed to increase my desire and obsession to WANT THINGS. And at the same time, I’m listening to Oprah & Eckhart Tolle’s podcasts, and learning (more) about the ego and its insatiable and bottomless NEED for THINGS so that it can define itself. “I am the person that has a MacBook Air.” “I am the person who won $500.” “I am the Director of Marketing.” Things, money, titles, all meaningless, really. They are not the soul. They are not what gives us our connection to Essence, Source and God.

I suppose I did the best thing I could do in the face of the situation. I realized it was going on and got up and walked away, and then took myself out into the sun and the fresh air (which are both fabulous AND free) and took a nice walk over to Caesar’s Palace, where I’m sitting now, and got present by focusing on the sun on my body, the beauty of all the snap dragons (flowers) that are planted everywhere, and how strong and full of energy my body feels when I walk compared to the last time I was here. Those are things that have nothing to do with money or things. And they are the only things in life you can really “take to the bank.” So I’m going to try to focus my energy on that (and the necessities of work) while I’m here, and try to enjoy life to the fullest without breaking the bank.

But I do need some new clothes. I’ve earned them. :-) But AFTER church.