Lost another 75kg... of clothes

Just had a bizarre experience... 

After I got back from the U.S., I realized that most of my old clothes didn't fit anymore. So I bagged them up and put them in my home office, where they took up a considerable amount of space for the last month. I didn't quite know what to do with them... about seven trash bags worth. Offer them to the weight loss clinic? Not interested. Sell them on EBay? Nobody interested. Throw them away? Wasteful. So tonight Wilbert and I stuffed them all in the car and dropped them off in donation container of a local charity in the parking lot of our supermarket.

To say it felt strange is an understatement. First and foremost, it was about $3000 worth of clothes (conservatively estimated), and it's frustrating not to be able to get any value out of that. Secondly, it was a whole piece of my past I'm leaving behind, and it felt good but weird to do that. It was a clear statement that I'm never planning on going back to that size again.

I have saved my favorite clothes (mostly Ralph Lauren shirts) that are too big in order to have them altered when I really need them. But nevertheless, I said goodbye to an important but unfortunate part of my history today. Still, it was a celebration of everything I've accomplished in the last year... almost like throwing all my excess weight in a dumpster. :-) And it was great to celebrate that together with Wilbert tonight.

Norway adopts gay marriage law

OSLO (AFP) — Norway's parliament on Wednesday adopted a new marriage law that allows homosexuals to marry and adopt children and permits lesbians to be artificially inseminated.
After a heated debate, the members of parliament adopted the text by a vote of 84 to 41.

The three centre-left coalition parties in power and two opposition parties, the Conservatives and the Liberals, voted largely in favour of the law, while the Christian Democrats and the far-right Progress Party voted against it.

Norway thus became the sixth country in the world to grant homosexuals the right to marry on an equal footing with heterosexuals, according to Norwegian television TV2.

"This decision is of an importance comparable to universal suffrage and our law on parity," Labour Party rapporteur Gunn Karin Gjul said during the debate.

The most controversial part of the law is that which gives lesbians the right to be artificially inseminated. The sperm donor must be identified so that the child can seek out his or her biological father at the age of 18.

"We are now creating a system where the father is reduced to a sperm sample," lamented Ulf Erik Knudsen, a member of the far-right.

Outside the parliament, a handful of opponents protested with posters reading "Have fathers become superfluous?" and "Parliament has no mandate to change the laws of nature."

Among other things, the new legislation replaces a so-called "partnership law" adopted in 1993 which gave Norwegian homosexuals the right to civil unions.

The new law is expected to enter into force at the end of this year or early next year. Homosexuality was illegal until 1972 in Norway, a country which has since become one of the most liberal in the world in the field.

Dutch Lunch Sucks

A little piece done a few weeks ago at work, featuring moi! :-)

Bye Bye Morbid Obesity!

It may sound strange (OK, it does), but I am pleased to announce that as of today, I am officially no longer morbidly obese. This is determined by your Body Mass Index (BMI). And today for the first time in many years, my BMI dipped below the point where one is considered morbidly obese (40 or greater). I’m now a 39.9, and proud of it! :-) Because morbid obesity is a chronic illness, it also means I have beaten a chronic health condition and am well on my way to a much more healthy lifestyle.

So goodbye, morbid obesity, and hello normal obesity! Pleased to meet ya!

BTW, according to the BMI system, I’d have to weigh a ridiculously low weight to be “normal”. I will be more than pleased when I can drop from “obese” into just plain “overweight” and reach my goal of 115kg, of which I am now about 2/3 of the way toward achieving. My pace of loss has picked up nicely again with some extra exercise (lots of biking!) and I’m losing at a pace of about 1kg a week again, which is great!

American Idol Winner David Cook

If you don't know about David Cook, then check this video out (vooral mijn Nederlandse vrienden die hem nog niet kennen!). There's something about this new American Idol wi'nner's humble, laid-back attitude, quirky look and deep, sexy voice that makes him not only a really great artist but really attractive! Check him out and buy his CD when it comes out! He really deserved to win over the dwarf. :-)

My husband at work

I have such an appreciation for my husband's passion for his work. Here's a picture of him in action at a recent hobby gathering, and he was there all day talking to everyone about what they do and what he can mean to them. He loves what he does so much that sometimes I'm jealous! And he works with some really beautiful products and helps others be creative, and they all appreciate what he does for them. A good kind of job to have. See www.schoutenhandwerken.nl, www.willswools.com and www.brei.tv for his store and blogs.

From Las Vegas to Beijing

Wasn’t home for any more than two weeks before jumping on a plane and heading to Beijing. I now have (really good and really nice!) staff in China and Korea so needed to go out and set up some plans for the year. Was a great trip all in all - got a lot of work done, ate some fabulous (and pretty healthy) food, and enjoyed the company of my colleagues in China. I’ve known many of them for seven years ore more, so it’s like seeing old friends.

This time there was of course a very sad note to the whole trip: the devastating earthquake in Sichuan Province. People in Beijing seemed truly saddened and moved by the whole thing, and the folks in our office were all collecting funds for the relief effort - more than $4000 of their own money - which is a heck of a lot in China. The company, instead of simply donating money, is going to let people come in to work on Saturday and will donate the salaries of everyone who worked that day to charity, so everyone feels like they have skin in the game.and are doing something with their effort to contribute. It’s a pretty nice way to do it, I thought.

On Monday, the government declared three days of national mourning, and the entire office participated in three minutes of silence, with everyone standing silently at their desks while all the cars outside blared their horns in mourning. It was a very moving experience, and I was moved to be a part of it.

I’m now on the plane on the way home, and looking forward to being there for a while; it’ll be a month until I need to travel again, and even that’s up in the air. I could stand being at home for a while. I miss Wilbert, and it’s hard to stick to my health and weight-loss program when I’m on the road. The temptations are too big and it’s too hard to stick to my exercise program, though I did make it to the gym twice in Beijing.

Tomorrow I’m back to the clinic to see how well I’ve been doing over the past 7 weeks. Missed the last time because I was in Vegas. At last official count I was at 150.4kg (7 weeks ago) and am hoping this time to be under 145 kg. That will be quite a bit slower than my past progress, but still in the acceptable to OK range. Wish me luck!

What I'm Grateful For

An important part of any change process is to inventory what that change has brought you and to remember and appreciate that. It helps justify the effort you’ve put into something, as well as motivate you to continue. This has definitely been true for my weight loss process as well.

So here I’m going to start keeping a running list of things I’m grateful for after losing so much weight. Some of them might seem sort of simple, others somewhat surprising; some mundane and some highly significant, but it’s all true for me. And I am indeed truly grateful for it all!

The Things I’m Grateful For After Losing 44kg

1. People are constantly complimenting me and it feels good! I have to remind myself not to get used to it and just brush it off because it’s special!


2. I am now completely without joint pain in my hips or knees.


3. My lower back is strong and pain-free.


4. I can comfortably sit in almost any chair, including on airplanes!


5. I can sit down and (especially!) get up without pain or effort.


6. I can sit on the floor/ground whenever I want to without having to worry about how I’m going to get up again.


7. I sweat 90% less than I used to, even with exertion or when it’s warm!


8. I can walk long distances without pain or exhaustion.


9. I can buy shirts and coats in a normal (American) store!


10. Clothes fit better and don’t look like tents.


11. My feet have gone from a “Wide” to a “Medium”, meaning I can buy shoes in a normal store too!


12. I know about myself that I can maintain a disciplined exercise regimen that is doable, even a little bit fun, and benefits my body.


13. I can really enjoy smaller quantities of food without feeling like I want/need more. An apple is a joy when I’m paying attention to eating.


14. I can reach parts of my body that I never could before! Handy for putting on lotion after sunburn when Wilbert isn’t around! :-)


15. I can stretch, reach and bend into positions I never could before... without pain.


16. My exercise regime and weight loss have also helped me strengthen my upper back and improve my posture. Before, this was a chronic problem that had me in physical therapy and suffering from uncontrollable pain.


17. I don’t snore anymore, which has really made my husband’s life a lot better too.


18. I’m a better and more active partner.


19. My level or activity and motivation to do things has increased immensely. If something needs to be done and/or I need to move/climb/go somewhere to do it, then I don’t hesitate; I just do it. Hence less procrastination and worrying and more productivity and peace.


20. I can travel without pain, discomfort or exhaustion and ENJOY it 100 times more!


21. Rings and watches fit a lot better! I actually bought a ring in a store!


22. People tell me I look younger and can’t believe I’m going to turn 40 this year.


23. I fit better in my car.


24. Don’t need a seatbelt extender in airplanes.


25. I can sleep on my back comfortably and without snoring.


26. My balance is better.


27. “Marital relations” are better. Enough said.


28. My husband is focusing more on his health as well.


29. I’ve been EXTREMELY healthy ever since surgery. Two very minor colds (all during vacations - blah!) and that’s been it.


30. I seem to have less difficulty with jet lag and recover faster from long trips.


31. I have more energy and tire far less easily.


32. I have a generally more positive attitude and know I can accomplish big things!


33. I have learned that there are things I can’t do without help from others.
34. I can hug people better because there isn't my basketball of a belly between us!
35. And in related news, the whole spooning thing finally works in both directions now! :-)

I’m sure this list will continue to grow and grow over time, and I look forward to adding to it!

What happened with my weight on vacation...

It had the potential to be an utter disaster. I ate 4 pieces of prime rib in three weeks and even sucked down half a coconut cream pie. But I worked out 8 times, walked a lot, ate my fruit and vegetables every day and kept my Starbucks lattes "skinny". I figured I'd broken even and not gained or lost anything. Then I went to the gym tonight and ended up finding out I'd lost 2.5 kg (5.5 lbs) in less than 4 weeks. That's slower than my normal pace (excuuuuuuuuuuse me!), but it's still above the expectations of my clinic for normal, healthy weight loss (0.5 kg per week)! I'm da bomb! Yeah, dawg! You worked it out!

And I celebrated by replacing my entire wardrobe, because I've dropped from a 5x to a 2x, from a size 60 waist to a 52, a 22 neck to a 19, and have punched more new holes in my belts than I can count. When I got home on Monday I literally cleared out 90% of my closet and stuffed it in 5 trash bags sitting behind me, and replaced it with the new "Summer Collection" purchased in Las Vegas. :-) Now I've got to figure out what to do with all this old crap. But that will be a pleasure. 

Iron Man is da bomb!

Went to Iron Man with my high school buddy, Jordan, today (at Jordan Creek Mall, of all the places!) and it was SERIOUSLY good! Loved it! Robert Downey Jr. was fantastic, funny and super-believable in his role as Tony Stark, and all of his bad-boy history in real life seemed to lend him some credibility to play the bad-boy role in the film. His timing in both the comedy and action scenes was right on. And he looked pretty hot too. :-) It's well worth the two hours and whatever a movie ticket costs in your neck of the woods, though the ending was slightly anti-climactic, I thought. Am hoping it does well enough to warrant a sequel!

Tulip Time... But Where?

High School Orchestra & Christopher
Originally uploaded by Krishiqua

You might look at this picture and assume I'm at home somewhere in Holland. Volendam? Zaanse Schans? Logical, but wrong. This picture was taken today in Pella, Iowa, during the annual Tulip Time festival held there. This majority-Dutch town was founded in the mid-1800's by a Dutch pastor and businessman named Scholte who came to the U.S. in search of religious, intellectual and economic freedoms.

Click on the picture to see the 100 photos I took in Pella today on Flickr! Even though it was only 45 minutes away from my parents' house, it was a REAL TRIP!

My Other Commitment

After a long and unexpected layover in Denver International Airport, I came across a beautiful ring that I felt drawn to. The picture does not do it justice, and I'll try to replace it soon. It's made out of sugilite and opal with 14kt. gold by an Arizonan artist and jeweler. The reason I love it is because it shows these brilliant and light opals emerging from a beautiful but dark background, representing my reclamation of my health and everything that life has to offer me now that I'm battling my way back from the darkness. I will wear it every day on my right hand (my wedding band is on my left hand according to Wilbert's family's tradition, which is Dutch catholic), and it will symbolize my ongoing lifelong commitment to my health and wellness. And it's gorgeous. :-)

Sugilite, a fairly recent discovery (1944) is found in Japan, Canada and India. The most important occurrence was found in 1975 in the Kalahari Desert, Northern South Africa. In 1979 a large deposit of gem grade sugilite was found 3200 feet below the original discovery.

Sugilite is named for the Japanese geologist who discovered the first specimens, Ken-ichi Sugi. It is opaque with a waxy luster and ranges from a pale grayish lavender to a deep dark purple.

Sugilite is also known under the trade names of "Royal Lavulite" and "Royal Azel"

Sugilite often contains black matrix, reddish brown or yellowish blotches and ranges between 6 - 7.5 on the Mohs scale of hardness.

Bright purple stones with little matrixing or blotches are the most valued. Gem grade sugilite is beautifully translucent and because it is quite rare it brings a high price.

Folklore, Legend, and Healing Properties:

It is said that sugilite strengthens the heart, aids physical healing and reduces stress. It is a balancer of mind, body and spirit and encourages peace of mind, a general feeling of well being and spiritual love.

It is also suggested that sugilite seems to protect against and dissipate anger and other negative energies.

Bye Bye Vegas

So do you think Wilbert should go for a new career? :-)

It was a WONDERFUL last day in Vegas. We had a leisurely morning, then strolled up the strip to Mandalay Bay (well, tried to stroll, but there were to many golf carts and trams offering us rides!). After winning at Blackjack, we had a nice lunch at Red, White & Blue (half a turkey ruben with the cheese ripped off) and then went to the Shark Reef. Small compared to other aquariums  I've seen but worth the trip. Then we took a cab to the Wynn to see that for the first time before going back to the apartment and spending some time at the pool. We then got gussied up and went over the Lawry's, where we had one of the best meals (and servers) EVER (Wilbert's treat!). We then went back to the Wynn for the show La Reve. It was indescribable and magical.  Then I won another $200 at blackjack. So in the end it was a fabulous day and I won more than enough money at the casino tables to pay for it all, as well as a little bit of my vast shopping booty. :-) A great way to end our vacation together. Today I head to Des Moines and Wilbert heads home. I'll miss him.

New & Improved Corporate Drag Christo

Forgive the splotchy complexion and overexposed photo, but this is me in a fresh new suit and tie ready to go do press and analyst interviews at the National Association of Broadcasters show in Las Vegas. And if I do say so myself (and I do), I knocked 'em dead. Lots of positive comments about my appearance, and I think I did a good job as well. Bought loads of new clothes: am down from a 60 to a 52 waist (almost 50!), and from a 22 neck to a 19, and from a 5XL shirt to a 2XL. And yesterday, for the first time in many years, I walked into a "normal" store in a mall and bought four polo shirts off the rack (most places in the U.S. carry XXL these days). It was a special moment.

All is well in Las Vegas. Much more to come.

Back to Sin City

I’ve been to Las Vegas at least once a year for the last eight years for work (sometimes twice!), and now I’m back again. And I have an incredible love/hate relationship with the place.

On the one hand, it’s America, where I grew up, with all of the comforts and conveniences that I grew up with (but then magnified): everything’s open 24 hours a day, there’s great food, great shopping, and it’s all about EXCESS. For those of you reading this in the U.S., Holland (and Europe in general) is much more sober and low-key in the way they express themselves, so to say Las Vegas is culture shock for most Europeans is putting it lightly, I believe.

My life over the last six months has been about learning the fine art of moderation - especially with eating. “Moderation” is not usually in the vocabulary of a Scorpio, let alone a triple Scorpio! And I’ve learned it well, and prepared myself mentally for what it would be like to be in Las Vegas again ahead of time, because I knew it would present a lot of challenges. I’ve found the places where I can buy fresh fruit to take with me, found the best place to buy bottled water, etc. etc. etc. to make sure I stay on track. I did a good job at dinner last night: ate half a house salad, half a piece of prime rib with all the fat trimmed off, and some broccoli. No dessert, no wine, no eating everything on my plate: I was pretty proud. Then had the leftovers for breakfast this morning. Did well on the plane as well.

Now it comes to my last remaining vices: gambling and techno-toys. I got the gambling thing under control quite some time ago: learning to set limits and pace myself, and to only spend what I was willing to lose. So that’s what I did last night, and got really lucky: twice. I was up $500, and this morning was bored and lonely with nothing to do so promptly lost $300 of bit back to The House. :-(

I’m still up $200, so that’s not really the point. The point is why we as human beings have the need to engage with such passion in consumption, hedonism and risky behavior. Why we are driven to acquire. I’ve been thinking a lot about that recently. Reducing food intake hasn’t really brought up any conscious emotional issues for me, it HAS seemed to increase my desire and obsession to WANT THINGS. And at the same time, I’m listening to Oprah & Eckhart Tolle’s podcasts, and learning (more) about the ego and its insatiable and bottomless NEED for THINGS so that it can define itself. “I am the person that has a MacBook Air.” “I am the person who won $500.” “I am the Director of Marketing.” Things, money, titles, all meaningless, really. They are not the soul. They are not what gives us our connection to Essence, Source and God.

I suppose I did the best thing I could do in the face of the situation. I realized it was going on and got up and walked away, and then took myself out into the sun and the fresh air (which are both fabulous AND free) and took a nice walk over to Caesar’s Palace, where I’m sitting now, and got present by focusing on the sun on my body, the beauty of all the snap dragons (flowers) that are planted everywhere, and how strong and full of energy my body feels when I walk compared to the last time I was here. Those are things that have nothing to do with money or things. And they are the only things in life you can really “take to the bank.” So I’m going to try to focus my energy on that (and the necessities of work) while I’m here, and try to enjoy life to the fullest without breaking the bank.

But I do need some new clothes. I’ve earned them. :-) But AFTER church.

An upcoming milestone...

As horribly clinical as it sounds, another 6,5 kilos to go before I leave behind "morbid obesity" (forever) and step into the exciting realm of "normal obesity". At my rate of loss that should be the end of May. I think I'll throw a party. :-)

Just to put things into perspective, a picture from about 10 years ago and now:

Tiptoe Through The Tulips - Keukenhof 2008

It was a (mostly) sunny day out - a little chilly - so I drove down to the Keukenhof as planned, but met my American colleague Susan (whose husband was also out of town) for lunch and we went together, which was a lot more fun than going alone! We wandered slowly through the park and I took a lot of pictures. It was a relaxing afternoon. Click here for more pictures.

Before I knew it it was time to drive back up North and go out to dinner with Barry, Richard, Hans, John, Michael and Jan, which was a blast. We're lucky to have a very nice group of friends here in town. Thanks to everyone for making it a tolerable day with Wilbert away - who by the way is going to come home early - hoorah!

Bachelor Weekend

Wilbert is on a business trip to Germany for a few days, so I get to spend the whole weekend by myself. After making breakfast for him, putting together a little care package for his train journey and dropping him off at the station, I came home and didn’t quite know what to do with myself. I have historically used eating and shopping to combat boredom (and any number of other uncomfortable feelings), and I had to be very vigilant for that yesterday. I managed to stay inside and do useful things like cleaning the stove until after the shops closed, which was a major victory in overcoming my ego patterns. I put Oprah & Eckhart Tolle on my iPhone (if you haven’t checked this out yet, download it for free on iTunes) and slowly wandered in the direction of our local Japanese restaurant in another part of town (about 2.4km each way). Because my heel isn’t fully healed, I took it sort of easy and didn’t rush, but that went really well with what I was listening to. I realized on the way how much of my local environment I had actually missed out on by not walking more over the last 10 years, because I discovered some interesting new things I’d DRIVEN by a million times but never really paid attention to before. Like a little war monument about 2 blocks from my house that commemorates four Dutch men who were killed on that spot by the Nazis during WW II. The podcast I was listening to only heightened the experience of living in the moment and noticing (but not judging) the nature around me. It was a nice walk. Burned a few calories too.

I usually hate eating alone, so I brought a friend with me, my MacBook Air, and ended up eating sashimi and Japanese vegetables while chatting online with a friend in the U.S. who has also had lap-band surgery and has a gay son. It was a nice chat and I felt like I’d been out to dinner with someone. :-)

Afterwards I walked home, listened to more Eckhart & Oprah and came across this beautiful scene while crossing the bridge (the photo doesn’t do it justice), and right afterwards had one of those ZING moments listening to the podcast. Won’t go into too much detail, but I essentially learned the the origin of my materialistic nature. Doing something about it is a different story; not so clear on that part yet. :-)

Had a good night’s sleep, and am now going to get some breakfast, jump into the car, go to the Keukenhof flower gardens and do some photography, and then come home and go out to dinner with some friends, so it should be a pretty fabulous day!

Good Time in Amsterdam

I had lots of fun today on an assignment for work. It was a roundtable discussion on digital television on Amsterdam; a paid opportunity for our company to talk about its role in the industry. It will be published in a magazine next month. I was there with another technology vendor and the chief technology officer for one of the local cable companies. It was moderated by the magazine’s editor, and we spent two hours talking about the trends in technology and products in the industry. What consumers want and what they probably don’t. Was really fun to be talking about something that I feel passionate about and love. Funny that I’m one of the few people in my TV company who really loves TV. :-)

What Goes Up Must Come Down

After thinking my foot was 99% better, I woke up this morning and my Achilles tendon on my right foot was stiff and burning when I extend it too far. The problem is that it extends when I walk. I had just been thinking yesterday how grateful I was that everything was better again. Oh well. Will just have to baby it again for another couple of weeks before it gets better again, then I’ll have to be REALLY careful for the medium to long term until it’s all the way better again.