Sick & Tired

I've been fooling myself for a long time. Fooling myself that I can be this overweight without any consequences. But in recent years the signs have started to pile up, and I just can't ignore them any longer. I'm getting increasingly tired. I've had some funny diseases. I'm snoring. My knees hurt. It's getting more and more uncomfortable to travel. I really hate the way I look. And I hate the lack of activity, adventure and fun in my life. And I hate to disappoint Wilbert, who is the most accepting and loving person I could ask for, but I know it hurts him to see me this way too. I'm becoming more and more of a hermit and I don't like it. And I'm back at the weight I was at when I started dieting some 7 years ago. Lost 50kgs and gained it all back again. I'm furious with myself.

So time has come to do something. To break out of this spiral before it becomes a self-fulfilling death sentence. I'm going to an obesity clinic on Friday for a group information session and intake discussion for possible surgery; probably a lap-band (a silicon band filed with saline that they put around the top of your stomach, essentially creating a smaller stomach without actually cutting into the stomach itself).

I refuse to give up my life without a fight.

So wish me luck. You can follow my adventures here online. No dates yet. Have to get through the laser vision correction surgery first on Monday!