Remembering Todd

Christine, Me, Peio and Louis in Madrid. Christine & Louis are Todd's younger brother and sister, and Peio is my friend from San Sebastian who introduced me to Todd before he died in 1991.

Surprise from the Past

I've been so on the move this past week that I haven't even had time to tell the most amazing story: how a gifted but troubled young gay man who chose to end his life 15 years ago brought four people together in Madrid last weekend to remember him, tell stories of his and their lives, revel in Madrid's Gay Pride celebration in his (and our) honor, and strike up new friendships while healing old wounds.

I was sitting at dinner with colleagues at the Clubhouse in Vouliagmeni, Greece (see below), when I got a call from a TV producer from the U.S., who said he was making a film about an old friend of mine, Todd , whose name I didn't immediately recognize. It then hit me like a bolt of lightning what he was talking about. He had found me through research and the internet... I had spoken to Todd's mother once briefly shortly after it happened, and they found my parents, who gave them my mobile number.

The story 15(+) years ago.

- Todd graduated from high school and went backpacking across Europe.

- He met Peio on the street and they spent four beautiful days together.

- He went on his way, but they stayed in touch.

- Todd went to college but made plans to come to Spain to study and see Peio.

- Peio, in the meantime, met Javi and decided to move in with him.

- Todd came to Spain anyway to study, but to another city.

- He had difficulty with the superficiality of gay life in Madrid, and struggled with not wanting to disappoint his parents.

- He and Peio remained friends, and Todd accepted that Peio was in a committed relationship.

- Todd visited Peio in San Sebastian where I met him.

- Peio's boyfriend Javi pitched a fit, and Todd went home.

- I needed a place to stay in Madrid, so called Todd.

- I went to Madrid, but Todd was nervous and depressed, and demanded I find somewhere else to stay.

- When there was nowhere else to stay, he kicked me out anyway. I found a place.

- I flew home, and after a few days got a telegram for Peio that Todd had jumped to his death.

- I was devastated, and for 15 years had thought I was the last one to see him alive (now we're not so sure).

- Actual cause/circumstances of death were never determined/known by family/friends.

So that brings us to present time.

MTV-owned gay & lesbian LOGO network in the U.S. is doing a documentary on gay siblings, and Todd's twin brother and sister are gay as well. They were going to fly to Madrid and record images of them remembering their dear older brother. I then suggested we find Peio and bring him in as well. With one consultation of Google.es, I found him, called him, and he agreed to come to Madrid. It was the first time I'd spoken to him in 13 years, as we'd lost touch several years after I left Spain. Bizarre that it was so easy to find him!

It was an emotionally and physically exhausting weekend. I wasn't actually aware of the whole Peio/Todd love affair because when I knew Peio, he was with Javi and didn't confide his history with Todd to me. I imagined that I, being the last one to supposedly see him alive, would have the most to tell Louis and Christine, but I didn't. And Peio had been carrying around a significant amount of guilt for the last 15 years about Todd's death (we told him that's rediculous, but people feel what they feel and there's nothing you can do about it). The bond between Christine, Louis and Peio was clear, and in the end I actually played a very small part in the story (other than supporting Peio through this difficult time.

After the interview (program will air on LOGO in November and we'll get DVD's of it), we were surprised with the fact that some of us would be going on a float in the gay pride parade, a huge affair in Madrid. But there were only four "places" and the obligatory costume (tight t-shirt) didn't fit me. And having been clearly sidelined by Peio's powerful story and with the cameras still rolling, I was left to walk behind the float, which thoroughly exhausted me. It might sound exaggerated, but that's the way I felt.

The parade, however, was fun, and I survived it (it was VERY hot!) because of the excellent company of the Spanish translator we had (completely unncessary considering my presence) and her girlfriend, both of whom where delightful and charming women. They took good care of me.

We then met Peio's current boyfriend of six years, who was struggling with the situation, but came around after meeting the twins and hearing the story. He was adorable and very sweet, I hope I get to spend more time with him and Peio in the Basque Country.

In the evening, we went to dinner with the whole gang to the Kupula Basque restaurant (see below), where Peio and I had eaten the night before as well. It was a fun time and the wine/food flowed freely. In the end, Louis picked up the bill and surprised us all with his generosity. I then went back to my hotel while the others went out, because I was flying out the next morning and it was already 2.30 in the morning. They stayed out til after 5, so I was glad I did.

The following day, Peio, Louis and Christine had tattoos done that were appropriate for the occasion: per aspera ad astra (through the thorns, to the stars) - a statement of the sacrifices required in order to achieve a better situation in life. We all mourn the fact that Todd didn't make it through the thorns of coming out as a young man in the early '90's, but celebrate the inspiration he gave us while he was alive and the gratitude we have for the fact that we were luckier and did make it through the thorns and to the stars.

18 hours at home with Wilbert and the kitties, then off to Rome (see below). Now home for three days before Prague, so happy to be spending a 2-day weekend at home. Clebrating Wilbert's belated birthday with a hamburger barbeque and his friends on Sunday. Looking forward to it. And looking forward to staying in touch with Peio in the future as well.

Week from Hell

I want to crawl in my bed and not come out for a week. After a very busy but pleasant two weeks (Copenhagen, Amsterdam, Athens, Madrid, then back to Amsterdam for only 18 hours), all hell broke loose in Rome and I nearly lost it. The taxi's were on strike, and it took a lot of time (and money) to get from A to B to C. At one point I threatened the hotel where the conference was that I would sleep in their lobby if they didn't give me a room (to no avail). I also threatened the conference organizers that I would get on a plane and fly home before giving my presentation unless they got me sorted out (which they did their best at). In the end I went for the only sure thing I could get, which was a room at the airport hotel with guaranteed shuttle service to and from the conference. Beds were too hard, but watching World Cup games in the bar was fun (especially Italy-Germany - the Italian crowd went nuts!).

My saving grace and calm in the storm for the whole thing was my colleague Nadra, who kept me sane and was an excellent travel companion for the second week in a row. She's going with me to Prague next week as well. It's a good thing I'm gay, or people would start to talk!

I have done enough trade shows to last me for a year, but at least I get a break until September and can just work. Will be nice to be at home for a while with Wilbert and the kitties. Just one more short trip to Prague on Monday, then I hope to stay put for the rest of the summer!

No additional restaurants of note to report. Rome's Airport Hilton is a comfortable, modern facility if you ever need to stay there, but like all airport hotels, you pay about a 25% premium. Nice business hotel, decent buffet, but get there before 22.00 and pay €30 instead of €37. A small bottle of Coke is around €5! Outrageous! In the Executive Lounge on the 5th floor, the exact same bottles are free!

Kupela restaurant (Madrid, Spain)

Kupela
Marqués de Cubas, 8 - 28014 Madrid
+34 91 523 3450 - info@restaurantekupela.com http://www.restaurantekupela.com/

So good that we went two nights in a row! This piece of the Basque Country in the middle of Spain could create enough good will with its food to end the conflict between the two parties! Located with ZERO fanfare on a small side street of Calle Alcalá, it's a fantastic place for either an intimate dinner or a large group of friends because of its several small rooms.

The food is very Basque and very good. We took the ciderhouse (sidrería) menu both nights, which included a cup of hard apple cider (definitely an acquired taste, but I acquired it long ago), thin, spicey txistorra sausages, a cod omelette, and very rare (read: bleeding) gigantic ribeye steaks (chuletón) cut into strips to share. The traditional dessert is idiazabal cheese, whole walnuts and quince (membrillo). Other people enjoyed small red peppers stuffed with cod, small squid (txipirones) served in their own ink, and other Basque delights.

The service was brilliant. The second night we showed up with 9 very rowdy, happy people at a few mnutes before midnight (when the kitchen was supposed to close), but they admitted us without complaint and catered to our every whim and fancy for more than two hours. Really well done, muchachos!

We of course ended our meal with a glass of homemade patxaran, a Basque anis liquer cured with currant berries served on the rocks. The stuff of gods! :-)

Seriously worth a detour to find in Madrid!

Wilbert and I in Greece

Like many tourists in Athens, one day we decided to go on a day-long tour of the Greek islands. It was a giant boat with every conceivable nationality on board, though Asians seemed to predominate, as they tend to travel the globe in large groups. Lots of little culture clashes to witness over the course of the day... interesting. All in all a LONG but fun day!

The Clubhouse restaurant (Vouliagmeni, Greece)

Situated in the Astir Palace resort complex, about 20 minutes outside of Athens, this restaurant sports the single most stunning view of any restaurant many of us had ever eaten in (with La Perla in San Sebastian, Spain, running a close second). It has an almost trendy interior, but where it really shines is the patio that overlooks one of the many small bays that dot the peninsula it's on. Stunning.

A self-proclaimed "gourmet restaurant", the food was good but not meriting any stars. Most of us had seafood risotto and pasta and were satisfied but not blown away. The staff was very helpful and attentive. Price-wise you certainly pay for the view, but it's worth it.

So all-in-all, definitely worth a try if you're in the area. But make sure to bring both your hunger and your camera! And make sure to time your visit for sunset!

If you're looking for a similar view but a dining experience a few notches down in both quality, service and price, try the restaurant in the Nafsika hotel that's also part of the Astir complex.

Zorbas Restaurant (Athens/Mikrolimano, Greece)

http://www.zorbasrestaurant.gr/

Purportedly one of the best retaurants in the small Mikrolimano port area outside of Athens and on the other side of Piraeus. Right at the beginning of the road that circles the port, with the restaurant on one side of the street and a well-appointed terrace right on the water, where we sat.

The view was lovely. We arrived before 9, so the sun was still up. They made good wine and fresh seafood recommendations - we had a mixed appetizer plate of fresh shrimp and calamari, and for our main course we each had a whole red snapper, which was delightfully seasoned and cooked. For dessert we shared a strawberry millefeuille (sp?) and something else I no longer remember, also good.

So in all, the food was good to excellent (and we got out of there for under EUR150 including a playful, crisp bottle of Greek red).

The service, however, ruined the night. It was abismally slow. As a former American, I am still more sensitive to this than most Europeans, but in general in Greece, the wait staff seems more interested in discussing/arguing with each other than serving customers. It took our food a little bit longer than was acceptable (even by Southern European standards, which are slower), but the piece de resistance was when we asked for the check and a taxi at the same time and the taxi arrived 15 minutes before the check did (forcing us to pay a waiting fee on the meter - good thing Greek taxi's are so cheap).

In short, the good quality of the food and view was overshadowed by the poor service, and we left feeling like we would try a different restaurant next time.

www.zorbasrestaurant.gr

Metropolitan Hotel, Athens (Greece)

Booked through Expedia for a special rate of about €120 per night (double occupancy, no breakfast), this modern hotel is half-way between downtown Athens and the port of Piraeus. A €25 daytime fare from airport, but keep an eye on the meter because Athens taxi drivers are the most crooked lot I've ever come across. They seem to randomly make up their own prices so watch them like a hawk. The hotel offers a free hourly shuttle to Syntagma (Constitution) Square but a taxi ride should only be €5-10.

The hotel has a modern, friendly atmosphere. The rooftop pool, restaurant and bar offer lovely views of the port and are great for relaxing and casual dining/drinks. Staff is mostly helpful (especially on the roof), but lobby restaurant service for breakfast and lunch was slow, unfriendly and poor. Rooms are small but very comfortable, but beds are rock-hard (staff was very accommodating in finding solutions, but the hotel should change the mattresses). Housekeeping staff was helpful and very friendly.

Despite the distance from the action, I would highly recommend this hotel (unless you have a bad back or are impatient in restaurants) because of its excellent value for money proposition.

On a scale of 1 to 10 I give it a 7 (great value but uncomfortable beds and inconsistent wait staff).

On a side note, something I've figured out about hotel and restaurant staff in Southern Europe (think Italy, Greece and Spain). In these countries wait/reception staff tends to often be from older generations - generations less experienced with customer service and the idea that the customer is always right. Many of them seem like they're waiting for their pensions to kick in and it's the only reason they show up to work. Younger people usually tend to be more polite, more eager to help and generally more resourceful than the older ones, who in many cases are outdated fixtures of establishments they've worked in all their lives. This might sound disrespectful or over-generalized, but the truth is that I've gotten much better service in general (with very few exceptions) from younger people than I have from the 50/60-year old crowd. They're also harder to connect with because of language issues - the younger generations seem to be more tuned into English than the older generation. Even so, I speak a number of languages, and the same concept usually remains true regardless of my ability to communicate with the staff or not.

This was also true at this hotel. With the exception of a really great host on the top floor restaurant, the older reception staff was generally quite unfriendly, and the younger staff was more helpful and polite.

So hospitality industry, if you want to do right by your guests, either retrain your existing staff (good luck!) for the 21st century guest, or get in some fresh, eager young blood who will take good care of your patrons.

Travel Reviews

I was at dinner with Wilbert last night (a bizarre experience... see next entries) and it occurred to me that I get to visit so many places, stay in so many hotels and eat at so many restaurants that it would make sense if I actually wrote something about them as well. And considering
that I can e-mail my reviews from my mobile phone directly to my blog while the impressions are still fresh, then why not? So today we'll start out with one good one and one mixed one...

Hope you find them interesting and useful!

Gadget du jour: Nokia E61

I'm totally impressed! Got this thing two days ago and it's fabulous! Form factor is easy to hold in one hand, it's light but doesn't feel/look cheap.

PC synchronization works well as well. Just a bummer Nokia (predictably) chose for a proprietary cable instead of a USB-B. Motorola and HTC are on the right track there, makes life a lot easier.

As is the case with most mobile phone companies offering BlackBerry Connect, the details around it are all extraordinarily (and unncessarily) mysterious, but some quick Googleation led to a simple solution and I was up and running in minutes.

The phone has the most useful standby screen I have ever seen on any device(even with add-on software!). Most recent Blackberry emails and upcoming appointments give you a view of your day at a glance. The thing is as stable as can be (not a single crash yet!). Love Nokia's choice for putting ALL sound through the Bluetooth headset, so I can listen to my podcasts in boring meetings. :-) The scroll-wheel for SE and BB users is missing, but you can get great one-handed operation with the joystick as well.

Speaker-independent voice dialing is great, but I'm missing a RAZR v3i-like opportunity for choosing WHICH phone number to dial for a contact. Haven't quite figured out yet how the phone makes an assumption as to WHICH number to dial (home, work or mobile). In general I'm quite chuffed with the phone. The price point for retail purchase without a contract was really reasonable for such a powerful device, I though. I'm still curious to see the new SE line (m600i, 990), but in general the E61 is hot stuff!

Feeling bitchy? Try one of these!

Thanks to my dear friend Gail in Northern Virginia for these!

Can someone explain to me...

...why certain Americans calling themselves "Christians" consider the two of us a threat to their family? Doesn't make any sense to me at all. We've had gay marriage in the Netherlands for years now and I don't know of one family (or child) that's suffered as a result. What are you so scared of? Why do you want to make our lives so complex? Securing the same rights (i.e. inheritance, hospital visitation, etc.) costs us tens of thousands of dollars to arrange while for you it comes automatic with marriage.

Can't you imagine that we might love each other the same way you love your husband/wife? Is that so impossible? Stop trying to meddle with the fulfillment of our basic human rights and get back to worshipping God instead of trying to impose your narrow idea of religion on the U.S. It's dangerous and it can end in nothing but a repeat of the inquisition or McCarthyism all over again. Your passion and lack of logic and perspective is starting to resemble that of Islamic fundamentalists more and more every day, and I see no way your attempts to turn the U.S. into a theocracy can end in anything but the meltdown of American freedoms, liberties and traditions.

Here is some of the debate coming out of congress from CNN:

"I don't believe there's any issue that's more important than this one," said Sen. David Vitter, a Louisiana Republican. "I think this debate is very healthy, and it's winning a lot of hearts and minds. I think we're going to show real progress."

"The federal marriage amendment debate simply is an opportunity for us to affirm our support for marriage," said Sen. John Thune, a South Dakota Republican. "It is an important debate to have in this country."

But Sen. Ted Kennedy, a Massachusetts Democrat, denounced the proposed amendment Tuesday as "an instrument of bigotry and prejudice," which he said was designed by the GOP leadership "to try to bring Republican senators out of the ditch of disapproval."

And Senate Minority Leader Harry Reid, a Nevada Democrat, said that "the reason the Senate Republicans are pushing this marriage amendment is because they don't want to address the real issues of this country."

"This is an effort by the president and the majority in the House and the Senate to distort, to misdirect what the real issues are," he told reporters Tuesday.

SuperModel 2006 Video MegaMix

I remain completely obsessed with RuPaul after all these years. She's the definition of fabulous! I've been following her since about 1992, including owning ever piece of music she's made, and I read her blog religiously. A true artiste! Enjoy this little shameless commercial!

Home Sweet Home & Cool iPod Accessories

Had a fabulous flight on a KLM 777, which probably has the best business class seats/service I've ever had. Forgot my 3 remaining Ambien on board... ouch. Good news is my doctor hands them out like candy, so I'll pick some up tomorrow! Made it through customs unhindered with my shopping as usual (all you have to do is act American and they're not interested in you) and had a safe trip home and slept for about 4 hours (only got 2-3 on the plane - short flight).

Now that I'm back, I can reveal my special gift to Wilbert (for all his support over the last year) and second favorite iPod accessory: the iHome iH5B - a fully-featured alarm clock with iPod support and great sound:

My first favorite accessory continues to be Harman Kardon's Drive+Play - the kit that makes using the iPod in the car elegant and easy as opposed to messy and difficult (though you pay through the nose for it: €179 + professional installation that costs about the same):

Fun in NYC!

After leaving the mountains, I spent a wonderful night in Denver - a quick bit of shopping at the restyled Casual Male XL (formerly Casual Male Big & Tall - I'm told Big & Tall made people feel bad so they didn't shop there), and attendance of not one but TWO movies - what decadence! I saw "The DaVinci Code" (I wish they had webcams so you could watch the faces of the few Christian fundamentalists who actually dare to see the movie - I'd love to watch them squirm at its "heresy"!), followed by the latest X-Men film. I really liked DaVinci, but felt indifferent about X-Men (despite it's phenomenal performance at the box office this holiday weekend). Got up at the crack of dawn and left for NYC yesterday.

Arrived in NYC, checked into the W Hotel in Times Square - a very hip and sylish place, to be sure. I was upgraded to a corner room with two views of the city - very cool. I then went out for sushi with my friend Margaret and went back to her apartment for some sorbet and watched the last-ever episode of Will & Grace on her Tivo. I thought it was OK, but in their desire to satisfy fans with a neatly wrapped-up ending (which is good), it got a little disjointed and didn't flow as smoothly as most of their episodes do - their writing is usually VERY tight. They took a lot of liberties with this last episode, which I guess is OK. Margaret's apartment was worth the 5-flight stair climb to see it, it was small but really nicely decorated.

Then went out for margarita's followed by Thai with my dear friend Mike from colleage. He's doing so well, has a fabulous boyfriend (wasn't in town but Wilbert and I met him at Christmas), is on his way to a fabulous career in psychiatry, and is buying a brownstone in Brooklyn (you're forgiven, darling). Is always so nice to see him - he's one of my favorite people and I think he always will be. Love you, Jennifur!

Today was all about shopping - first Rochester Big & Tall where I fed my Ralph Lauren addiction with five lovely, brightly-colored button down shirts, then to the new Apple store on 5th Ave. where I got something fabulous for Wilbert that I can't yet talk about because it's a surprise! :-) Then lunch with my cousin Key, who is very smart and very sweet and is marrying a very cute 1/2 Russian boy next month! Congrats, hon! I was sorry to have missed her sister Ashley who also lives in the city and works for Wilbert's and my favorite company, Aveda.

Now sitting at JFK ready to fly home. It's been a very fun trip, but I have missed Wilbert and the kitties a lot and am ready to be at home for a while. Unfortunately, I'll be on the road again pretty quickly - Prague, Copenhagen and Athens all in the month of June. No rest for the wicked! Might sound disingenous to complain about having to go to such fabulous places, but believe me, it gets old after a while.

The Wedding Party

It was a windy but beautiful day for my sister's wedding. My brother and I took over 1000 pictures, but here's a good one of the bride and groom and both families. It was a fantastic weekend and it was great to meet Mel & Heidi's friends and family; they were all really great people.

Goin' to the Chapel...

I'm in Colorado this weekend for my sister's wedding (this afternoon!). It's her second marriage, and it's to a great guy, Mel, she met about two years ago. I've met him 2 or 3 times and he seems a'ight! And they'll be moving to Boston soon with my little niece Merrick, where I'm hoping they'll be very happy together (and at least temporarily concentrating both my siblings in one city!). It's taken Heidi a while to find happiness in life after one false start, and I'm confident she's found "the real deal" now. It was especially nice meeting Mel's family last night, and to have my whole family here as well. It's rare we see each other more than once a year!

Here's to you, Heidi & Mel (and Mer!)! May you have a long life full of happiness and love together!

(Above: The happy couple with friends from Boston)

The Beaver Creek Creek.

A bit of old Colorado, updated for tourism purposes.

Colorado snow in late May! Bizarre for someone from a country that's mostly below sea level! :-)

The gorgous patio right outside the reception room for my sister's wedding. Weather looks to be upper 30's (C) / 80's (F) and gorgeous today!

The gazebo where my sister will be married today, on a mountain in Cordillera, Colorado.

Dad, the bride to be and me looking like a squished banana. :-)

Some of Heidi's friends and Mel's family from the wedding party at lunch in Beaver Creek Villiage.

The happy bride and groom to be at the family dinner on the night before the wedding.

The Next Generation

It's a bit after the fact, but this is a very special photo that was taken at Christmas time of my siblings (black sweater and pink sweater) and our partners. It's the first time that the three of us were ever present with all three partners, representing a pretty major milestone in our lives. It took us all a while to get there (wonder what that's all about - a topic for another blog entry!), but we're finally all happily partnered, living together and/or about to be married. I'm happy we all made it this far (not everyone does), but think it's a testament to my parents having taught us that relationship is never easy, but that it's worth the hard work required to make it work. So here's to Christopher & Wilbert, Heidi & Mel (and Merrick!) and Josh & Lorie!

My Man the National Knitting Spokesmodel!

Wilbert on a national Dutch TV show promoting knitting in a segment about knitting for men. Wilbert is the guy on the right. He's taken a very active role in promoting knitting in Holland as a hip, trendy and relaxing passtime, and he's the "go to guy" for knitting info and trends. I'm really proud of him!

Home Sweet Home

Gosh, it's nice to be home. It was a good trip to the U.S., but gosh, was I ready to get back to Holland!

It was wonderful to see my parents and especially to have their undivided attention for five days so we could enjoy each others' company uninterrupted. It's never quite that way when my brother and sister (and spouses/kid) are at home. I had some great, deep conversations with my mother about our family "dynamics", which is incredibly valuable in both explaining the past as well as helping me to understand who I am today. Also did some great shopping (mostly shoes and clothes - so much cheaper than in the U.S. and they actually have my size!). Not to mention both my mother's WONDERFUL cooking and some great restaurant outings. Thanks, Mom & Dad for a great time, and see you next month for Heidi's wedding (my sister is getting married at the end of May in the mountains of Colorado, so I'm logging a lot of family time this spring!).

Vegas was nice. Great weather... not too hot and not too chilly. Things I did:

• Went on a time-share tour of the Marriott Le Grand Chateau. Maybe...
• Gambled with acceptable losses
• Got a Sony Vaio TX770P. VERY powerful & tiny laptop with built-in GSM modem!
• Worked hard at the National Association of Broadcasters trade show
• Met two really nice guys in Las Vegas who I hope to maintain a friendship with. Thanks for the great chats/meals, Chris & Vincent!
• Went to a great variety show at the V Theater in the Aladdin. Very funny!
• Ate prime rib THREE times, including twice at my favorite restaurant in the whole world, Blackstones in the Monte Carlo. We don't generally have prime rib in Holland, so it's always a special meal for me.

The trip home was crap. United Airlines flies a lousy 767 on the Chicago-Amsterdam route, and the business class seats are so narrow I can barely sit in them. The economy flight from Las Vegas to Chicago was more comfortable. Even the First Class cabin isn't up to KLM 747 standards. It really sucked and I got very little rest. But I got home, got some good sleep, and am starting to get my energy back. All in all, a very fun but very expensive trip!

Back in the USA!

Well it's been FAR too long since I've written anything here, so my apologies. I've been very busy at work, what with a major corporate takeover, old staff leaving, new staff joining, new line of brochures, bla bla bla. In general life has been good, but I've really been needing a break.

So on Good Friday I flew to Iowa to hang out with my parents for a few days, and had a really enjoyable time of good fellowship (and good Iowa food!). Had some great conversations with my Mom that gave me a lot more insight into my youth, which I always appreciate. The nice thing is that I'll get to see them, as well as my siblings, at my sister's wedding next month in Colorado.

Yesterday I flew to Las Vegas to spend a few days in the Southwestern sun before the National Association of Broadcasters meeting begins next Monday. It's not often I've got to spend any leisure time in Las Vegas by myself (despite being here at least once a year for the last six years!), so I look forward to the next few days.

That's about all for now. Time to clean up and go see what adventures Las Vegas holds for me today!

Brunch with those who escaped...

It was called to my attention by H.M. Margaret (H.M. stands for High Maintenance, not for Her Majesty!) that I forgot to mention our lovely visit with her and some other former colleagues from my company. It was a delightful time and it was great to see her and meet these other folks who left before my time. And she picked a VERY cool place: the Vinyl diner on 9th Ave. in NYC. Great to see ya, hon, and best wishes to you and your mom for a fabulous 2006! Next time we have to make sure to get you in the picture as well!

Home Sweet Home

Back home safely. Was a very long day. The companies that made it easier were the Flamingo Hotel & Casino, United Las Vegas ground staff (especially the supervisor), the company that makes Ambien (my favorite new drug - zonk-o-rama!), and a great Dutch taxi driver. The companies that pissed me off were Wendy's Dulles (incompetent, rude people), the United Flight 946 Business Class cabin crew who were surly and unfriendly. So glad to be home with Wilbert and the kitties! Now time to unpack!

More Old Friends at X-Mas

Got a very special treat this holiday season... I got to Las Vegas a day early for the Consumer Electronics Show which I'm attending for my company, and arranged to meet one of my fellow students from the exchange program I was on in Spain in 1990-91. Kahunya was one of my dear friends while I was there and helped make life bearable in a world before cheap phone calls and ubiquitous e-mail access. He's now finishing up grad school in Oregon and it was great to spend 36 hours with him (even though we both snore like hippos!). :-)

One of our outings included a session at an oxygen bar and one of those dry water massage capsules. Silly but fun! It was great to see you, man, y te deseo mucha suerte con tus estudios y con escoger el proximo camino que vas a caminar en tu vida. Un abrazo muy fuerte!

Living High on the Hog

Sometimes I just have to laugh out loud at my life. But in a good way.

This morning I was reviewing my loyalty points on various websites and came across a summary of my last three months of hotel stays with the Starwood chain (to which I am insanely loyal because they've been very good to me). It looked something like this:

• Jan 04, 2006 Aladdin Resort & Casino, Las Vegas
• Jan 03, 2006 Sheraton Manhattan Hotel
• Dec 17, 2005 Sheraton Belgravia Hotel, London
• Nov 28, 2005 Four Points by Sheraton Milan Center
• Oct 17, 2005 The Great Wall Sheraton Hotel Beijing

Add to that the 9 flights that I will have taken between 22 Dec and 8 Jan (and a fistfull of shopping mall and amazon.com credit card receipts), and that gives a pretty good picture of what my life has looked like for the last quarter. A combination of business and pleasure, but still... for a three month period, this is a pretty intensive and dreamy schedule for a guy from a state that produces corn and soybeans. There's still that very Iowan part of me that thinks traveling two hours away from home by car is a big deal, so let's just say that part of me is very impressed with the life I lead today. The funny thing is that almost everyone I work with leads a very similar life. It's the nature of international business and being an expat (or a former one).

Bottom line is that I love my life (for lots more reasons than just this!), and that it's made all the more meaningful by having someone wonderful to spend it with. I love you, scheetje! Our next hotel stay together is in only 14 days... :-)

And the most special moment of the year...

And why is that? To be announced... (op z'n tijd).

Friends at New Year's in New York

It was fantastic to see old college gal pal Dr. Mike and his "matzah belle" boyfriend and famous gay author, Joel! Check out (and buy) his book! They're a great couple and we really enjoyed and appreciated our time with them. We look forward to seeing them in Holland sometime soon.

Friends & Family... what Christmas is all about!

Sorry for the long period of silence! I'm now on the U.S. (NYC to be more precise), having just spent a wonderful Christmas with family (including Wilbert!) and friends in Des Moines. Got to see some really special people I haven't seen for a while (including Tim above), and that trend will be continuing this week in NYC and next in Las Vegas! So you all know who you are, and I can't wait to see you!

What a difference a few days can make...

After that last post, I sunk into the depths of dispair and fear. It drove me crazy to only have use of one eye and I had essentially lost all my energy for a week. The frequent trips to the doctor and hospital put me back to bed for the rest of the day each time I went. But in the middle of this week, things began to turn around. The sores stopped coming, my eye slowly started opening, the pain started to subside a bit, and I started to get my energy back.

For shingles, this is just a few hairs short of a miracle. Usually it lasts much longer and is much worse in intensity. Looks like I managed to get off relatively easy compared to the experiences of others who live with it for weeks and end up with chronic pain afterwards. So I'm going to rest up for the remainder of this week, start getting some work done at home (am now up-to-date on e-mail and got a draft presentation out this afternoon), have a relaxing weekend and get outside into the beautiful outdoors and recharge my batteries to be ready to go back to work on Monday. The truth is I'm completely stir-crazy and can't wait to get back. Well, at least this week at home managed to get me almost caught up on the first season of Lost...

New Tradition - Disease of the Year

I've always been relatively healthy. After growing out of a touchy stomach in my youth, I've very seldom had anything serious wrong with me. Then last year I got a nasty case of the whooping cough and was active but coughing my brains out for about three months.

Well, it seems this is going to become an annual tradition; but for a bit of variation, this year we're going to do something new: shingles ("gordel roos" in Dutch... literally "belt dandruff"). It's caused by the herpes zoster virus, the same one that causes chicken pox. Read more about it by clicking on the link above.

My rash (a funny moving painful sensation under the skin) began on Monday, and blisters started on about Wednesday. By Thursday they were much worse and it was clear something was wrong. I went straight to the doctor, who diagnosed me easily considering it was all on one side of my face - a prominent feature of shingles (from the Latin "cingula", meaning belt - the place where a lot of people seem to get them). She advised a "few days" of bed rest. It's likely to take more than that.

By Friday, my eye was starting to swell shut. My own doctor had blown me off and not returned my urgent calls on Friday, so Wilbert took me to the emergency clinic where I was finally prescribed some decent pain medication (Tramadol) and both oral and salve anti-virals. But by the next morning, my eye was completely swollen closed, so Wilbert carted me off to the emergency clinic again, then off to Hoorn for a special consultation with an opthamologist. The good news is that there seems to be no infecton in my eye itself. But I'll have to keep an eye on it because it can wreak havoc with your sight by leaving scar tissue on the surface of the eye. The bad news is that my eye is still completely swollen shut and I pretty much stayed in bed all day yesterday with the blinds closed and slept, followed by a full 8 hours sleep last night. I seldom every need that much rest, so I know my body is fighting something pretty serious.

Why have I joined the "Disease of the Year Club"? Well, both of these illnesses have had to do with pathogens that are either regularly present in our bodies or in our environments, and only cause illness when our immune systems are diminised by other illnesses, stress, or fatigue. I had just completed the busiest period ever of my professional life (with great pleasure!), as well as a tremendous amount of travel (seven hours west and six hours east) in a very short span of time. I think it took its toll on my body as a result. So I'll just have to find ways to take better care of myself in the future and plan my schedule more carefully.

So far I'm feeling pretty upbeat (not depressed as mentioned in the description referenced above), but just exhausted. The pain is somehwat under control, but I only have one eye and it's difficult and tiresome to even type this much text. Sigh. But I'm taking good care of my self (and Wilbert is taking excellent care of me, God bless him), so hopefully I'll beat this thing soon. I'll spare you any pictures, because it's not a pretty sight! If you're really interested, then click here.

Marketing Man in Action (in China)

One of the reasons I don't love being in China...

I got a beautiful three-line love note from Wilbert last night on e-mail saying he missed me. He's not always very verbally expressive about how he feels about me (but shows it in abundance with his actions every single day), so it was very special and made me realize how much I miss him when I go away on business. It's nice that after eight years of knowing each other I can still feel how very much I love him. There's nothing in the world like knowing I have such a wonderful person to go home to after galavanting around the world.

See you in two days, L.P.! I miss you too!

One of the reasons I love being in China...

And this was food down the street from the office at a "workers"-type restaurant. Gorgeous! And it costs next to nothing.

September Recap

Recapping September, it was by far the busiest month of the year for me (for both personal and professional reasons), and I think I came through it pretty well. I wrote a whole blog entry about it, but Blogger.com ate it (lesson: use Word or another offline text editor to write your blog!). Here are the highlights:

We had four major tasks as a department this month: rebrand the company, run a successful annual customer meeting for about 90 customers and staff, run a stand at the year’s largest trade show, and launch a new website. Without an incredible team effort by my team in the U.S. and Europe and a divide-and-conquer strategy, it never would have happened. They pulled together and kicked ass. Way to go, guys! Here’s what we accomplished:

• Rebranding of the company has been mostly very successful. New logo, new house style, new marketing collateral, new everything. Still working on it through the end of the year, but it looks fresh, cool, but also stable and trustworthy. Easy for us to work with ourselves, so less dependency on our agency and lower costs for the company. And we got a brand new color printer which produces gorgeous stuff. This was my baby (though the first time doing it!) together with the invaluable experience and effort of one of my staff who has gone through this before. So one thing down. Wish I could show you, but don’t want to identify my company here.

• Next thing was the company’s annual customer meeting in Spain! This is my second year producing it, and I decided to run it this year more like a professional industry conference. I’ve been to so many of them in the last year that it was easy to pick and choose the best elements to include. The city and hotel are fantastic for conferences, and I would recommend the Hotel Maria Cristina in San Sebastian to anyone for a conference. Prices were incredibly reasonable, and the group events manager, Juan Pablo Beorlegui, was fantastic. The hotel is historic, gorgeous, and centrally located, and the pricing for a large group was about half that of what we did in Italy last year. I created lots of opportunities for participation, got in some interesting experts, and our customers were generous with their knowledge and participation. We had dinners on the beach, in a cider house and in a 19th century fort, we learned about Basque sports like tug-of-war, hand ball, rock lifting and wood chopping, and we spent three valuable days networking and talking about the future of our businesses. Was very cool, and again could not have been accomplished without the leadership and hard work of one of the talented people on my staff (N., you da bomb, girl!). Thanks to our efforts (and those of a handful of other company staff), the event was considered to be the most successful ever. So another notch in our September belt.

• The trade show I had far less to do with, as I was mostly focused on the first two projects, so I left it to the proven expert in trade shows in the company, and she pulled it off with flying colors. Because the new branding was only finalized less than a month before the show, she had to scramble extra this year to get everything done, but the result ended up being both a boot we could be very proud of, and we’ll fine-tune the few rough edges for the next show. Way to go, M.!

• Last but not least was a brand new website in less than 3 weeks from start to finish. Fully tuned to the new brand, fully loaded with content, and managed by 1) a guy in Amsterdam who had been with the company for just a few months and 2) a gal on the west coast of the U.S. driving the agency that was building it. So lots of challenges, but a great Phase 1 result. Now on to Phase 2! Way to go, J. & E.!

• And not to leave the other key person out of this, we had one guy playing “Flying Keep” the whole time, helping literally everyone out and making our lives easier by picking up difficult bits and pieces of each project; a video here, a flash animation there, a few brochures and flyers over there. Without you, R., none of us would have made it. Thank you!

• All of this was a total rush, very fulfilling personally and professionally, and also led to a small reward for me in the form of a promotion from Manager to Director. That was nice, thanks, boss. I’m really enjoying what I’m doing for the first time in about as long as I can remember.

• Next was my brother's wedding in Des Moines (USA). It was great to see so much extended family, and wonderful to watch Josh & Lorie (see below) enjoy their special day together. Made me long for my own special day some time in the future when the time is right. I went into it expecting to barely spend anytime with my family, and that was a good expectation to have, because everyone was so busy. Good lesson for the future (last Christmas at home was pretty much a train smash, so I've learned my lesson). I felt a strange combination of being connected to and at the same time disconnected from the whole scene. Lots of old familiar friends and family, but lots of people from Josh's life that I know nothing about. I guess that's what being an adult is all about. And I shopped myself silly, of course. :-)

Other cool stuff that happened this month:

• Reconnected with long-lost grad school friend Timo (http://timmuh.blogspot.com/) who I had somehow managed to lose track of. Spent a little while talking on the phone, was great to catch up with him. Hope to see him at Christmas back in Iowa.

• Because of all the summer preparations for September, I let the garden go completely to hell. Got sick of it and just hired someone to come in and clean it up. Result = gorgeous.

• Am participating in a project to remodel our street and move the sidewalks, parking and street around to be more friendly and safe to pedestrians. Feels good to be involved in something local that binds me more to my city. Lots of the time I feel more like a citizen of the world than of this country or city, and it’s nice to do something “grounding” like this.

• In that vein, we’re trying to be more social with other couples and friends these days, which has resulted in some nice parties, trips to the spa, etc.

• I think I’ll actually have a birthday party this year for the first time in a while. Should be fun.

• Am so digging my Sony PSP. I’m not much of a gamer, but the device is just so cool! Feels like the whole Star Trek era has sort of arrived when you’re walking around with a little thing like that that has such a high quality screen with built-in WiFi and a web browser!

• Found decent tickets home for Christmas with New Year’s in NYC for both Wilbert and I. Economy on an airline where I have no points or status (could there be anything worse?), but pretty direct flights and a reasonable price. Can’t wait to do that with Wilbert. It’s likely the whole family (all 5 of us including spouses and kids) will be together for the first time, so that will be special. We’ll have to do a nice portrait.

• Am off to Beijing for a week in about four hours. Am going to make sure the new branding takes hold in our office there. I’m looking forward to being back there… it’s been a year, which is about the longest I’ve been out of China since I started working for my company. I love it there.

So that was my exhausting but fulfilling September and a few words about the future. Off I go to pack! Be well, everyone!

The dashing groom and blushing bride at the Wedding Reception

The groom and me at the Rehearsal Dinner

Bride Lorie with her newphew, Xander, at the Rehearsal Dinner

Aunt Barb and Dad at the Rehearsal Dinner

Josh & Mom at the Rehearsal Dinner

My mom and all her siblings at the Wedding Reception

Heidi, Josh and Mom at the Rehearsal Dinner

Mel and Heidi (in the pearls I got her in China) at the Wedding Rehearsal

Dr. Ruhe and Mom before the Wedding Rehearsal

Heidi, Mel and Merrick at the Wedding Rehearsal

Eskerrik Asko eta Hurrengo Arte! - Tomorrow we say goodbye to the Basque Country after a lovely, relaxed stay. So we wanted to say a big "Eskerrik Asko" (thank you!) to everyone who helped make it a nice stay for us.

Bilbao Guggenheim - Here is the amazing architectural feat by Frank Gehry (adorned with an attractive Dutch gentleman for decorative purposes).

Bilbao Guggenheim - And not to miss my chance, here I am (and yes, I was exhausted as I look!)

Bilbao Guggenheim - Here Wilbert is standing in front of the gigantic flower-covered dog that is the theme of the amazing Guggenheim musem in Bilbao.

Aste Nagusia Bilbao - Wilbert, Marcos and I hit the streets of Bilbao to enjoy the upbeat atmosphere offered by the year's biggest festival: Aste Nagusia (or Big Week). One week after San Sebastian's version, the bigger city of Bilbao offers a much different atmosphere (but equally enjoyable) than San Sebastian. Here the boys are wearing the traditional blue bandana the Bilbainos wear every year for the event.

Lizeaga Sagardotegi - Here we are enjoying our dessert (sorry about the blurry picture - blame the waitress!). The traditional Basque dessert is whole walnuts, quince (a hard fruit jelly called "membrillo" in Spanish & Basque), and Idiazabal cheese. Light and yummy!

Lizeaga Sagardotegi - The meal you get in a sagardotegi is almost always the same: Start with an omelette with cod that is salted, dried, stored, and then rehydrated for use (the ancient, traditional Basque way of storing cod), then some blocks of sauteed cod with green grilled peppers, and finally a gigantic t-bone steak that is always rare. A salad is optionally served with the steak, and bread always accompanies the meal as well. And your cider glass is your best friend for the evening.

Lizeaga Sagardotegi - Normally at a sagardotegi, you get up and walk to the various huge kegs of cider when the cidermaster comes out and shouts "Txotx!" at the top of his lungs. People line up and use their glass to catch the two-meter long stream of cider shooting out of the keg (in order to ensure maximum aeration of the cider). But off-season, you have to settle for the bottled product.

Lizeaga Sagardotegi in Astigarraga - To contrast/compliment our night at a restaurant with three Michelin stars, we decided to go to a traditional Basque sidreria (or "sagardotegi" in Euskera), a place that makes hard apple cider and serves wonderful traditional food. There are few that are open this time of year, but we found one that was.