Saturday, March 29, 2008

MacBook + MacBook Pro + iPod + iPod + iPod + 300 = MacBook Air


This is the insane formula I used this morning to get my hands on the amazingly gorgeous MacBook Air I'm typing this blog entry on in my favorite cafe. I had wanted one of these ever since Steve announced its availability a few months ago, but the price put it out of reach. Especially for the faster version with flash drive. I had planned to wait until I went to the U.S., but this morning I had a brainstorm: instead of hanging on to all the stuff I'd managed to collect over the past few years (other Apple laptops and iPods), I traded it ALL in at the iCentre in Uitgeest and, with a small additional payment, got my hands on this gorgeous little piece of technology. It made sense... I have a wonderful iMac at home, and I'm using my iPhone for portable internet. This is the perfect "laptop-to-go" - flash drive, so no moving parts, and that means the battery lasts longer as well. I've got a mobile internet subscription, so I can use it anywhere in the country! Almost as fast as WiFi. 

Don't know what it is about me that loves to have new toys, but I do. Some people are into alocohol, drugs, whatever. I'm out of the food business. So toys is all I have left. :-) And I'm super-happy with this one! Thanks, Steve!

Thursday, March 27, 2008

Fitna

Right now I'm watching the short film by Dutch right-wing anti-Islam politician Geert Wilders. It's pretty disgusting.  Ironically, in a country that is still highly sensitive about the atrocities of World War II, it looks very much like a Nazi propaganda film. Everything in it is real, and it shows a very ugly side of Islam and it's very most extremest believers, but I realized while watching it that you could make the exact same film about the Catholic Church and the evils that have been done in its name throughout distant (and recent) history. 

The focus of the movie is some of the most violent verses of the Koran and how people use them to justify horrible and unspeakable philosophies of world domination and violence. It's about converting the world to Islam or killing those who won't. It's about a 3-year old girl who has been trained like a monkey to say that Jews are pigs. And it's obviously meant to create great fear among Islamophobes who are afraid that their culture will be overrun by people of different beliefs that they can't relate to.

What I'm having difficulty with (and I assume this was Wilders' goal) is deciding whether this is deplorable propaganda that only spreads hatred of a major world religion and its followers, or whether it is a valid wake-up call; a concentrated and shocking message that is meant to alert the world to the dangers of Islamic extremism. I've been thinking of it more and more in terms of the Germans who ignored the initial signs of danger from Nazi-ism. The complication here is that this particular ideology of Islamic hate comes from a religion, not a political movement, which makes it even less open to inspection, debate and criticism because of the liberal, tolerant, sometimes overly politically correct nature of modern (Western) society. So we may be getting into a situation where the very values that we are trying to defend in Western society are the ones that will cause us to ignore the danger out there. 

I'm a generally very liberally minded person, so I usually tend toward wanting to embrace tolerance at almost any cost - God knows it would be pretty hypocritical for any gay man to do otherwise. But at the same time, this film pretty effectively links violent acts from an increasingly large (and effective) but still FRINGE group to the holy scriptures of a very large group of people, and shows the unprecedented death and destruction these people are causing in modern times. Perhaps it would be easier to defend Islam if there were more Islamic moderates who were out there condemning extremist violence. I've yet to ever see a prominent moderate Islamic movement that strongly rejects the Islamist doctrine of the spread of their religion through violence. Is it because the media doesn't find it as interesting as the fanatics? Could very well be. Still, if I as a Christian were faced with a significant, global violent movement of people from my faith, I would be out there fighting it tooth and nail. 

I also look at this from the perspective of a gay man who has found refuge in a liberal European country that embraces me for who I am, and I do feel threatened by the (often not very religious) Muslim youth in The Netherlands who usually have a very different attitude toward homosexuality than their Dutch counterparts - and over the last year have been increasingly expressing this through anti-gay attacks in our larger cities. And that is surviving into the second generation that is pretty well culturally integrated into Dutch society as well. I of course have a major problem with that - I moved to this country to embrace its values and its culture, so in many ways I can very much relate to the Dutch who feel threatened by a group of people, some of whom actively reject Dutch culture.  

Anybody who is fanatical is dangerous and should be fought against. Christian, Muslim, Jew, makes no difference at all. But how do we fight against them without becoming fanatics ourselves and becoming exactly who we hate so much? That is the challenge and the difficulty here. That is the challenge of a liberal society, and I don't know if it can be won. Wilders has obviously decided to cross that line with this film and fight fanaticism with fanaticism, and I can't support that. But I also don't think we have the luxury of political correctness anymore. The other side has already gone past that point, and we need to find ways to respond that are effective but that don't compromise our integrity and values. And I have no answer to how to do that. 

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Half Way!

So yesterday it finally happened. I'm officially half way to my weight loss goal of 76kg (168lbs). 38 down and 38 to go. In about 6 months (with a little bit of prep work ahead of time). Not too shabby! I'll probably cross back and forth over that line a few times this week before diving definitively below it... this time forever.

It's been surprisingly easy, and I've had a tremendous amount of help for which I'm very grateful. It's likely to get more difficult from here on out; common wisdom is that the 1st half is the easiest and the 2nd half (and specifically at the 50% mark) things can get a lot trickier. But I'm dedicated, educated and supported, so should go fine!

Monday, March 24, 2008

Easter Bunny Sunday


I had a really nice Easter Sunday! I'd gone to bed early on Saturday, so I was up bright and early the next morning. We hadn't actually planned to do anything, which felt disappointing to me, so I quickly jumped on line and found out about church services at the American Protestant Church in The Hague. Knowing Wilbert had gone to sleep late and wouldn't be up for a while, I jumped in the car and drove for an hour to get there. The weather was beautiful at the time, and the Dutch landscape is just starting to green up and daffodils are EVERYWHERE. Even along the highways. So it was a pleasurable trip. 

Got there right on time to experience the 10 a.m. "contemporary" service. The music was good, and the sermon was excellent, but it just sort of wasn't my thing. For me, church needs to be either traditional (from my UCC upbringing) or old school gospel (from my MCC experience in D.C.). For some reason, anything else feels to me like the one trying to be the other (i.e. white folk trying to have black church). Just doesn't feel natural to me. But I'm totally aware that that's just because of my own unique history. 

I stuck around for the 11:30 service, which was far more traditional and much more up my alley with the old hymns. The sermon was the same, but I didn't mind hearing it a second time. I understand the pastor is at the end of her tenure there, which is sad because I like her. We'll have to see who her replacement is before I decide whether or not it's worth the 25 euros worth of gas it takes to get there and back every week. I was a little bit sad to see and hear that the choir was pretty small and not up to the standard of quality of choirs I've participated in in the past - again, my bar is set very high after having sung in some really excellent choirs. I've also begun to notice that my singing voice has improved since I've lost so much weight. I guess my voice box had been constricted by the fat in my neck; so another blessing to add to my list! 

At the late service, I got to sat next to two of my colleagues from work, both of whom had lost their wives recently - one as recently as this week. I greatly admired their faith and strength, and continue to pray for them and mourn their losses. They're both great guys.

So then I jumped back in the car for the drive home. On the way back, I called Wilbert and expressed my frustration that we hadn't planned anything special for the rest of the day. He sort of just sees it as a normal weekend day, so he hadn't really planned anything. "Maybe we'll go to my brother's for coffee later." My intuition told me something wasn't quite right here, and indeed his brother had planned a whole nice day with Wilbert's parents and his niece and nephew, and had just sort of assumed that we were invited. I can't imagine NOT spending Easter or Christmas with family somehow, so we made more formal plans and headed over there in the afternoon and had a great afternoon/evening. Wilbert's brother Perry is always such a gracious host. 

At the end of the night, Wilbert asked his nephew, Thomas (who was born literally the week after we met for the first time!), how much he weighed. It turns out that this 10 1/2 -year old kid weighs exactly the amount I've lost to date (give or take 1 kg)! I looked it up and he's completely average for an 11-year old. So that's how much I've lost. An 11-year old kid! :-) Wilbert picked him up (with great difficulty) and looked at me in amazement. :-) 

So I got my church fix and my family fix for Easter 2008! And a nice validation of the progress I've made so far.

Friday, March 21, 2008

Spring Snow

Love this shot with the fluffy wet snow that fell all morning. Was beautiful with the daffodils as a backdrop, but Angel was not amused.

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

My First High School Boyfriend

He'll kill me for doing this, but that's OK. He deserves it. Tonight I found this picture on the web of the first guy I ever "had a thing" with. "Dated" is far too strong a word... we were 15 or 16 and in high school, and we were just friends who "explored" together. Until of course I mentioned the G-word and he didn't speak to me for the rest of high school. Except for one drunken episode in which he apologized profusely for having been such a jerk to me before going back to the silent treatment again the next day. I was really devastated and it really ruined a lot of my high school experience, but sexuality in the 80's was still a bit of a tricky subject in Iowa.

He was funny and really smart, and seems like he's doing well in life now. I wish him the best and hope we reconnect someday. It was 25 years ago, so I think I should probably be over it by now. :-)