My Other Commitment

After a long and unexpected layover in Denver International Airport, I came across a beautiful ring that I felt drawn to. The picture does not do it justice, and I'll try to replace it soon. It's made out of sugilite and opal with 14kt. gold by an Arizonan artist and jeweler. The reason I love it is because it shows these brilliant and light opals emerging from a beautiful but dark background, representing my reclamation of my health and everything that life has to offer me now that I'm battling my way back from the darkness. I will wear it every day on my right hand (my wedding band is on my left hand according to Wilbert's family's tradition, which is Dutch catholic), and it will symbolize my ongoing lifelong commitment to my health and wellness. And it's gorgeous. :-)

Sugilite, a fairly recent discovery (1944) is found in Japan, Canada and India. The most important occurrence was found in 1975 in the Kalahari Desert, Northern South Africa. In 1979 a large deposit of gem grade sugilite was found 3200 feet below the original discovery.

Sugilite is named for the Japanese geologist who discovered the first specimens, Ken-ichi Sugi. It is opaque with a waxy luster and ranges from a pale grayish lavender to a deep dark purple.

Sugilite is also known under the trade names of "Royal Lavulite" and "Royal Azel"

Sugilite often contains black matrix, reddish brown or yellowish blotches and ranges between 6 - 7.5 on the Mohs scale of hardness.

Bright purple stones with little matrixing or blotches are the most valued. Gem grade sugilite is beautifully translucent and because it is quite rare it brings a high price.

Folklore, Legend, and Healing Properties:

It is said that sugilite strengthens the heart, aids physical healing and reduces stress. It is a balancer of mind, body and spirit and encourages peace of mind, a general feeling of well being and spiritual love.

It is also suggested that sugilite seems to protect against and dissipate anger and other negative energies.

Bye Bye Vegas

So do you think Wilbert should go for a new career? :-)

It was a WONDERFUL last day in Vegas. We had a leisurely morning, then strolled up the strip to Mandalay Bay (well, tried to stroll, but there were to many golf carts and trams offering us rides!). After winning at Blackjack, we had a nice lunch at Red, White & Blue (half a turkey ruben with the cheese ripped off) and then went to the Shark Reef. Small compared to other aquariums  I've seen but worth the trip. Then we took a cab to the Wynn to see that for the first time before going back to the apartment and spending some time at the pool. We then got gussied up and went over the Lawry's, where we had one of the best meals (and servers) EVER (Wilbert's treat!). We then went back to the Wynn for the show La Reve. It was indescribable and magical.  Then I won another $200 at blackjack. So in the end it was a fabulous day and I won more than enough money at the casino tables to pay for it all, as well as a little bit of my vast shopping booty. :-) A great way to end our vacation together. Today I head to Des Moines and Wilbert heads home. I'll miss him.

New & Improved Corporate Drag Christo

Forgive the splotchy complexion and overexposed photo, but this is me in a fresh new suit and tie ready to go do press and analyst interviews at the National Association of Broadcasters show in Las Vegas. And if I do say so myself (and I do), I knocked 'em dead. Lots of positive comments about my appearance, and I think I did a good job as well. Bought loads of new clothes: am down from a 60 to a 52 waist (almost 50!), and from a 22 neck to a 19, and from a 5XL shirt to a 2XL. And yesterday, for the first time in many years, I walked into a "normal" store in a mall and bought four polo shirts off the rack (most places in the U.S. carry XXL these days). It was a special moment.

All is well in Las Vegas. Much more to come.

Back to Sin City

I’ve been to Las Vegas at least once a year for the last eight years for work (sometimes twice!), and now I’m back again. And I have an incredible love/hate relationship with the place.

On the one hand, it’s America, where I grew up, with all of the comforts and conveniences that I grew up with (but then magnified): everything’s open 24 hours a day, there’s great food, great shopping, and it’s all about EXCESS. For those of you reading this in the U.S., Holland (and Europe in general) is much more sober and low-key in the way they express themselves, so to say Las Vegas is culture shock for most Europeans is putting it lightly, I believe.

My life over the last six months has been about learning the fine art of moderation - especially with eating. “Moderation” is not usually in the vocabulary of a Scorpio, let alone a triple Scorpio! And I’ve learned it well, and prepared myself mentally for what it would be like to be in Las Vegas again ahead of time, because I knew it would present a lot of challenges. I’ve found the places where I can buy fresh fruit to take with me, found the best place to buy bottled water, etc. etc. etc. to make sure I stay on track. I did a good job at dinner last night: ate half a house salad, half a piece of prime rib with all the fat trimmed off, and some broccoli. No dessert, no wine, no eating everything on my plate: I was pretty proud. Then had the leftovers for breakfast this morning. Did well on the plane as well.

Now it comes to my last remaining vices: gambling and techno-toys. I got the gambling thing under control quite some time ago: learning to set limits and pace myself, and to only spend what I was willing to lose. So that’s what I did last night, and got really lucky: twice. I was up $500, and this morning was bored and lonely with nothing to do so promptly lost $300 of bit back to The House. :-(

I’m still up $200, so that’s not really the point. The point is why we as human beings have the need to engage with such passion in consumption, hedonism and risky behavior. Why we are driven to acquire. I’ve been thinking a lot about that recently. Reducing food intake hasn’t really brought up any conscious emotional issues for me, it HAS seemed to increase my desire and obsession to WANT THINGS. And at the same time, I’m listening to Oprah & Eckhart Tolle’s podcasts, and learning (more) about the ego and its insatiable and bottomless NEED for THINGS so that it can define itself. “I am the person that has a MacBook Air.” “I am the person who won $500.” “I am the Director of Marketing.” Things, money, titles, all meaningless, really. They are not the soul. They are not what gives us our connection to Essence, Source and God.

I suppose I did the best thing I could do in the face of the situation. I realized it was going on and got up and walked away, and then took myself out into the sun and the fresh air (which are both fabulous AND free) and took a nice walk over to Caesar’s Palace, where I’m sitting now, and got present by focusing on the sun on my body, the beauty of all the snap dragons (flowers) that are planted everywhere, and how strong and full of energy my body feels when I walk compared to the last time I was here. Those are things that have nothing to do with money or things. And they are the only things in life you can really “take to the bank.” So I’m going to try to focus my energy on that (and the necessities of work) while I’m here, and try to enjoy life to the fullest without breaking the bank.

But I do need some new clothes. I’ve earned them. :-) But AFTER church.

An upcoming milestone...

As horribly clinical as it sounds, another 6,5 kilos to go before I leave behind "morbid obesity" (forever) and step into the exciting realm of "normal obesity". At my rate of loss that should be the end of May. I think I'll throw a party. :-)

Just to put things into perspective, a picture from about 10 years ago and now:

Tiptoe Through The Tulips - Keukenhof 2008

It was a (mostly) sunny day out - a little chilly - so I drove down to the Keukenhof as planned, but met my American colleague Susan (whose husband was also out of town) for lunch and we went together, which was a lot more fun than going alone! We wandered slowly through the park and I took a lot of pictures. It was a relaxing afternoon. Click here for more pictures.

Before I knew it it was time to drive back up North and go out to dinner with Barry, Richard, Hans, John, Michael and Jan, which was a blast. We're lucky to have a very nice group of friends here in town. Thanks to everyone for making it a tolerable day with Wilbert away - who by the way is going to come home early - hoorah!

Bachelor Weekend

Wilbert is on a business trip to Germany for a few days, so I get to spend the whole weekend by myself. After making breakfast for him, putting together a little care package for his train journey and dropping him off at the station, I came home and didn’t quite know what to do with myself. I have historically used eating and shopping to combat boredom (and any number of other uncomfortable feelings), and I had to be very vigilant for that yesterday. I managed to stay inside and do useful things like cleaning the stove until after the shops closed, which was a major victory in overcoming my ego patterns. I put Oprah & Eckhart Tolle on my iPhone (if you haven’t checked this out yet, download it for free on iTunes) and slowly wandered in the direction of our local Japanese restaurant in another part of town (about 2.4km each way). Because my heel isn’t fully healed, I took it sort of easy and didn’t rush, but that went really well with what I was listening to. I realized on the way how much of my local environment I had actually missed out on by not walking more over the last 10 years, because I discovered some interesting new things I’d DRIVEN by a million times but never really paid attention to before. Like a little war monument about 2 blocks from my house that commemorates four Dutch men who were killed on that spot by the Nazis during WW II. The podcast I was listening to only heightened the experience of living in the moment and noticing (but not judging) the nature around me. It was a nice walk. Burned a few calories too.

I usually hate eating alone, so I brought a friend with me, my MacBook Air, and ended up eating sashimi and Japanese vegetables while chatting online with a friend in the U.S. who has also had lap-band surgery and has a gay son. It was a nice chat and I felt like I’d been out to dinner with someone. :-)

Afterwards I walked home, listened to more Eckhart & Oprah and came across this beautiful scene while crossing the bridge (the photo doesn’t do it justice), and right afterwards had one of those ZING moments listening to the podcast. Won’t go into too much detail, but I essentially learned the the origin of my materialistic nature. Doing something about it is a different story; not so clear on that part yet. :-)

Had a good night’s sleep, and am now going to get some breakfast, jump into the car, go to the Keukenhof flower gardens and do some photography, and then come home and go out to dinner with some friends, so it should be a pretty fabulous day!

Good Time in Amsterdam

I had lots of fun today on an assignment for work. It was a roundtable discussion on digital television on Amsterdam; a paid opportunity for our company to talk about its role in the industry. It will be published in a magazine next month. I was there with another technology vendor and the chief technology officer for one of the local cable companies. It was moderated by the magazine’s editor, and we spent two hours talking about the trends in technology and products in the industry. What consumers want and what they probably don’t. Was really fun to be talking about something that I feel passionate about and love. Funny that I’m one of the few people in my TV company who really loves TV. :-)

What Goes Up Must Come Down

After thinking my foot was 99% better, I woke up this morning and my Achilles tendon on my right foot was stiff and burning when I extend it too far. The problem is that it extends when I walk. I had just been thinking yesterday how grateful I was that everything was better again. Oh well. Will just have to baby it again for another couple of weeks before it gets better again, then I’ll have to be REALLY careful for the medium to long term until it’s all the way better again.